Secrets
by SpringHiller09
Summary: Bella had always just been the little sister of Jasper's best friend, Edward. But, when Bella comes out of her shell at 16 and Jasper sees her for more than just a little girl, sparks begin to fly. But, falling for your best friends sister can be dangerous and Jasper must choose between his friend, and the girl he loves.
1. Prologue: Nobody Will Know

**Prologue: Nobody Will Know**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk." I whispered darkly into my latest one night stand, Georgia Hall. She was fucking perfect. Blonde hair. Big boobs. Long, lean legs. I'd been waiting to fuck her for months and tonight, on the night of my sixteenth birthday, she was finally letting me.

"Just fucking do it!" She moaned as I teased her with a few shallow thrusts.

"Hey, this is my birthday." I reminded her. "I'll do it when I want to fucking do it."

"Please, Jasper." She moaned as I gripped a handful of her hair in my hands and tugged it gently. I'd heard around the school she liked it rough. And, I was willing to comply with what she wanted. "I need you inside me."

"Well, I guess." I whispered as I thrust hard inside of her. She screamed with pleasure as she leaned down onto her elbows for extra support. I had to put my hand over her mouth so no one would hear her screaming.

It was mine and Rosalie's sweet sixteen and the house was packed with people downstairs and upstairs. We didn't live in a very big town, so everyone knew everyone and we all got along for the most part. And, since my father was the best doctor in town, we had a decent living. And, by decent living, I mean we lived in the biggest house in Forks and my mom always threw us the best birthdays.

"Fuck!" She moaned as our bodies began to coat with sweat.

"Oh!" I heard someone yell from the door. I stilled inside of Georgia and looked up to see my best friends little sister, Bella, standing there looking terrified and embarrassed. I had no idea what a little fourteen year old was still doing here since everyone under sixteen had gone home with the rest of our family and family friends before the party ever started.

"Bella!" I cried.

"Sorry!" She squealed as she turned and slammed the door shut. Great. Now I had a fourteen year old knowing what I was up to in my spare time. Plus, I knew I'd get shit from her brother, Edward, for getting caught by his little sister in the first place.

"Are you going to finish, or what?" Georgia asked as she began to move her hips back. I finished what I started before getting dressed again and heading downstairs to try and find Bella. I knew how easily embarrassed she got and I knew she'd avoid me for days.

I loved the Swans like my own family. Edward and I had been best friends since we were born since our mothers met in the same birthing class, and we were only two days apart. Rosalie and I were older of course. And Bella, well Bella was a different story. When we were younger, I always became a nervous wreck when she was around.

But, then Edward and I got older and Bella just...stayed Bella. We met Emmett McCarty in the seventh grade when his family moved here from a small town in Tennessee, and then we turned thirteen and discovered girls. And, Bella was never one of those girls.

The three of us, Edward, Emmett, and I made a good team. Edward had the steady girlfriend, Alice, and kept us grounded. Emmett knew how to show Edward how to have fun. And I...well I beat the shit out of anyone who tried to hurt any of my friends.

"Dude, did I see you come out of your room with...Georgia Hall?" Emmett asked after I had looked around the entire house to try to find Bella. "Way to go!" He yelled, holding up his hand. I lightly tapped it and turned when I thought I heard Bella saying my name.

"How did you see us go into my room?" I asked. I knew him and Rosalie had a thing and that they were constantly fucking, but I still liked to watch him squirm when I brought the two of them up.

"Well...uhhh...hummm..." He stuttered and I only laughed while I patted him on the back. "Jerk."

"Just as long as you don't knock her up."

"Please, you've seen the collection of condoms in my drawers.

"That I have, my friends." I laughed. "That I have." I sighed as I continued to look around. "Have you seen Bella?"

"Bella?" He asked. "Didn't she leave like...a few hours ago?"

"I thought so until she caught me and Georgia naked in bed together a few minutes ago." I explained and he just shook his head. "I mean, she was poking her head where it didn't belong..."

"Literally..."

"But, I still don't want her to feel weird around me." I sighed. "She's Edward's little sister, I mean, we're gonna have to see each other again...and in two days at Edward's party."

"Let's just pray she doesn't catch Alice and Edward." He laughed.

"Alice and Edward doing what?" I heard Alice ask. Now, she was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. She had beautiful short, brown hair, green eyes, and sometimes it seemed like she was only four feet tall.

"Fucking," Emmett said with a crooked smile. Both of them turned bright red since they were constantly denying the fact that they had sex. But, it was hard to lie about it when Emmett and I had caught them in the act a few weeks ago. A complete accident, but it was well worth it when Edward opened the door carefully just to see us standing at the door.

"Who can't catch us?" Alice asked, trying to change the subject.

"Bella," I sighed.

"Yeah, like she just caught Jasper and Georgia fucking Hall." Emmett smirked and I hit him right in the gut.

"You let my sister walk in on you?" Edward yelled. He was very, very protective of Bella. And in his mind, she was an innocent little girl again who only played with Barbie dolls and a relationship to her was holding hands and bossing the boy around. I know what it was like to be her boyfriend when we were six and four.

"I didn't let her. It just happened."

"Why didn't you like put something on the door?" Edward asked. "Like a sock."

"Because we didn't want everyone knowing what we were doing..."

"Oh, they knew," Emmett grinned.

"And because she wouldn't have known what it meant anyway." I sighed as someone cut the music and the house filled with everyones groans about losing it. I turned to see my mom and dad standing at the kitchen door, smiling proudly.

If everyone would please follow us outside onto the patio, we're going to cut Jasper and Rosalie's cakes now!" She said and everyone cheered.

The rest of the night passed and I gave up on finding Bella when Georgia was begging for round two. When we finally got out of bed, pretty much everyone but our closet friends had left and honestly, I wished she would have just gone home. I wasn't the type for anything afterwards.

"How does it feel to be sixteen?" Dad asked as we sat down in the den after Edward had left to take Alice home.

"Amazing." I sighed in contentment. "So, what time tomorrow?"

"We'll leave here around noon." Mom smiled. Since today was so hectic, she promised the day after our birthday we'd go down to the DMV to take our permit test. I was fucking excited as hell. No more relying on mommy and daddy to get us places.

"Okay," Rosalie nodded before saying goodnight to everyone.

* * *

"Hey," I whispered when I found her on the back porch swing, her glasses on and a book in her hands. When she heard me, she jumped up and almost crawled into a ball she was so mortified to see me. "Can I sit?"

"Sure," She said so softly, I almost didn't hear her. I sat down on the other side of the swing and began to gently pump my legs so we were moving. It was the end of August and it was my favorite time of year. It wouldn't be warm for much longer, so I soaked it all in before trying to talk to her.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." I sighed, and she finally looked up at me. "About what happened yesterday."

"What...happened yesterday?" She asked with a crack in her voice. She was going to pretend. like it didn't happen and although that would be nice, I didn't want her darting me for the rest of our lives.

"You know what, Bella." I sighed. "It isn't a huge deal."

"Not a huge deal?" She shrieked. "That was almost as bad as walking in on Edward and Alice?"

"You've walked in on them too?" I asked shocked.

"NO!" She yelled. "Luckily...but it's like that."

"Look, I won't make it awkward or anything if you don't make it awkward or anything. Deal?"

"Sure, deal." She smiled, shaking my hand.

So, Bella and I went on like we always had. Like nothing happened yesterday and like were best friends again. She was always complaining that Emmett and I being around was like having three over protective brothers, but I knew she loved every second of it. She was on of the only eighth graders who got to hang out with tenth graders.

She was living the dream.


	2. Right to the Top

**Chapter One: Right to the Top**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

**Two Years Later**

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Alice as I looked in the mirror. I'd never been one to actually do my hair nicely or wear makeup, or a dress for that matter and she had me looking like a Barbie doll. "Can't I just wear jeans?"

"No, Bella." She smiled, coming over to me and placing the headband in my hair. "This is your big day."

"It's just a birthday." I shrugged. I never understood why people made such a big deal about a sixteenth birthday. It was just another day honestly.

"Your sixteenth birthday." She giggled. "Your parents and the Cullen's put a lot of work into this. Now, stop complaining and put your shoes on."

"Fine." I sighed. I was not going to win with Alice. I don't know how she did it, but she could make anyone do anything. And by anything, I mean she even got Edward to watch _The Notebook_ with her...more than once.

But, when I looked in the mirror with the shoes and all the jewelary she had me wearing...I actually felt pretty. I'd always felt like the odd one out. The ugly duckling. I mean, my brother had girls swooning all over him, and I couldn't even get a guy to pick up a book when I dropped one. But, in the white sparkly dress and red shoes, I really did feel sixteen.

For the first time in a long time, I felt my age rather than my shoe size.

Just as Alice was touching my blush up, there was a light knock on the door and Rosalie walked inside. She ooed and awwed when she saw me and was almost actling like my mother. Since the party was being held at the Cullen's huge house, Rosalie had given me her room to get ready in.

"You look gorgeous, Bells." She smiled as she came and stood behind me with Alice. "All the boys are going to go crazy."

"Please, the only reason people are coming is because it's here." I sighed as I stood up. "If it was anywhere else, no one would show."

"Hey, show some confidence." She smiled. "You're one of the nicest girls in the school."

"Yeah, and how far has nice gotten anyone?" I asked. I always did this to myself. I never felt good or confident and I always made myself feel worse than I already did. I had no idea where it came from. I had a loving family. Two if you counted the Cullen's. A few really good friends. Good grades. I had nothing to worry about.

And yet, it was all I ever really did.

"Bella," Alice sighed.

"Nice girls finish last, guys." I said. "I mean, how nice were you two when you were my age?"

"Bella, you knew us when we were your age." Rosalie laughed. "Just, stop worrying so much. Everyone you gave an invite to is coming and they're coming to help you celebrate."

"Or they're coming because your boyfriend is going to find a way to sneak booze in here." I spat, turning to Rosalie.

"If he does, he won't be allowed back in this house." She shrugged. "For like ever my parents said." She laughed. "Just, shrug all this negativity off and get into a good, partying mood."

"Okay," I sighed, taking a deep breath. I watched as Rosalie and Alice quickly got dressed and jumped when the front door bell rang. I went to go answer it, but they reminded me thats what Emmett and Jasper were for and I didn't really have to do anything until mostly everyone got there.

"Hey, Bells." Jasper said, walking into Rosalie's room. "Angela is...here." He sighed after looking at me all dressed up. I'd never looked like this before so it was sure to be a surprise for everyone. But, when he didn't say anything for a few more seconds, I started feeling subconscience again. "You look wonderful."

"Out, lover boy!" Rosalie barked as she shoved him out of the room and closed the door in his face. "You ready to go downstairs?"

"Now or never, right?" I laughed as I grabbed my grandmothers ring and slipped it on my finger. She was my best friend growing up and she watched Edward and I while our parents were oversea.

My mom and dad both proudly served in the US Army. After 9/11, they were both shipped out almost immediately and they were gone for two years. They had thankfully not been sent out since, but we all knew it could happen at anytime. No matter how much Edward and I prepared ourselves, we both knew if that day ever came, we'd never be ready. And since Grandma Swan passed away five years ago, we had no idea who we'd be with if that were to happen.

When I walked downstairs, Jasper was still looking at me. I tried to shake it off. I was just a sister to him, and it didn't matter how much her looked at me. That's all I'd ever be to him. He made that quite clear at his sixteenth birthday party two years ago.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!" Angela and Chloe shouted as they came over and gave me a big hug. These were the girls I knew I'd always be able to count on and I knew no matter what happened in the future, we'd be best friends. It would be impossible to tear us apart.

"Thanks, guys." I smiled as we let go. Over the course of thirty minutes, the house went to having a few people inside, to complete insanity. Everyone in my grade and then some showed up and it was a total mad house. The music was booming and it was hard to hear Angela right next to me. People were dancing and everywhere I turned there was someone waiting to say hello or happy birthday.

After a while, it was starting to feel cramped and I stepped outside onto Jasper's own, personal balcony. I just leaned against the railing, soaking in the peace and quiet the outdoors brought. It was so calming, I didn't even hear the glass door open again.

"Oh, sorry." I heard Jasper whisper behind me. "I didn't know anyone was out here."

"I can leave." I said, ducking my head not to make eye contact because I knew the second I did, I would become a babbling idiot.

"No, stay." He smiled and I made the bad choice and locked eyes with his. He was so freaking good looking it was crazy. His brown hair was overgrown and in need of a haircut, but it worked really well for him. His eyes were beautifully green and he was tall and slender. He was perfect and I'd never be able to have him.

He was two years older and way out of my league. Plus, it didn't help that he was one of Edward's best friends.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked as I sat down on the outdoor couch he had set up.

"It was getting pretty crazy in there." He laughed. Even his laugh made me feel weak at the knees. "Plus, it's nice and cool out here."

"Yeah, it does feel good." I smiled as the wind began picking up. I brought my hands up to my arms to help shield myself, but it wasn't doing much work. Until, I felt something warm drape over and I realized it to be one of Jasper's jean jackets from his room. "Thanks."

"I wouldn't want the birthday girl to freeze." He laughed as he sat down next to me. "So, was it really just hot in there or are you hiding from your own birthday?"

"I'm not hiding." I told him, but it didn't work. I was the worst liar there had ever been. And people like Edward and Jasper, knew it well when I was lying.

"You do know I know when you're telling a lie, right?" He laughed and I just shrunk in my seat. "Are you even having fun Bella?"

"I am." I told him honestly. "I just would have had more fun with a few friends a good food." I shrugged.

"Then, why did you agree to this?"

"Because, I only turn sixteen once and I should do it with style." I quoted my mother. "Plus, mom's been waiting since I was a baby to have a sweet sixteen party for me and Rosalie, Esme, and Alice all jumped at the chance to help her." I sighed. "I didn't wanna let them down."

"Well, it's your party." He reminded me. "You should have stuck up for yourself."

"Well, maybe my party with be the 'party of the year' and I'll become popular."

"Eh, it isn't all that great." He smiled. He was probably the most popular guy in school and he knew it. Being the star quarterback and pitcher had its perks.. But, he was never obnoxious about it. And, he never rubbed it in...most of the time. "You don't need to be popular, Bells."

"Coming from the most popular guy in school." I snorted and when I looked over at him, he looked almost hurt by my comment. "I'm sorry, but it's hard to take advice like that from you when you are popular. You don't know what it's like living in the shadows."

"You're right, I don't." He agreed. "But, sometimes I wish I had. I mean, everyone looks up to me during football and baseball season. All eyes are on me all the time and if I make a mistake...all hell breaks loose." He explained. "You're pretty spectacular, Bella. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

"Thanks, Jazz." I smiled as my eyes met his again. I felt this pull towards him and I wasn't sure if I was crazy or not, but I swear I saw him leaning into me too. But, before we even got close to each other, the balcony door opened and Alice was dragging my downstairs for cake.

"Happy birthday dear, Bella!" The crowd sang as they huddled around me and the giant cake Esme had prepared. "Happy birthday to you!" They sang and I took a deep breath to blow all the candles out. Magically, they all went out in a single blow and I felt Edward's lips on my cheek as he wished me a happy birthday yet again.

Looking around, I saw the people I really loved. And, if I had to have one stinking over the top party to make it seemed like I cared about normal sixteen year old girl things, then so be it.

* * *

My party came and went and soon, it didn't matter anymore. Everyone was on to the next big blow out which was Jessica's the next weekend. I didn't care that no one was talking about it for weeks like they had when Jasper and Rosalie had theirs. Plus, I enjoyed cake and ice creme on my real birthday with my family and close friends much more than the huge party at the Cullen's.

Life was back to normal. I was back in my jeans and Tom's and back to sitting with Angela and Chloe. All was right with the world.

Except, I couldn't shake what almost happened between Jasper and I out of my head. I know I was the naive, little never-been-kissed girl, but I'd watched plenty of movies with my friends to know when a guy is about to make a first move. And Jasper was for sure leaning into me.

Or at least, that's what I kept telling myself.

"Earth to Bella." I heard Chloe laugh as Angela snapped her fingers in front of my face. After coming back to reality, I realized I'd been staring at my brothers table at lunch. AKA I'd been staring at Jasper. "Who are you looking at?"

"No one." I said quickly, going back to eating my salad. But, even they knew I was lying and turned to face in the direction I'd been looking.

"So, it's someone sitting at your brothers table?" Angela asked and I just shrugged. "It's not James...he's disgusting."

"You got that right." Chloe giggled.

"Emmett?" She asked and I just shook my head as I stared at my salad that I'd barely touched. "Well, it's not Edward so...Jasper?"

"Maybe." I shrugged and both of their eyes grew wide. "Please don't make a huge deal out of this."

"What's there a huge deal about?" Mike, our other close friend, asked as he sat down with us. Mike was that friend who everyone had a crush on at some point and Chloe even dated him for two days in middle school when everyone thought they needed a boyfriend. But, as we grew up, Mike became too brother-like to have real feelings for and we all faded into a close friendship along with Ben, Angela's mega crush.

"Nothing," I lied. Mike was one of the few people who couldn't tell when I was lying.

"You know, I will find out." He reminded me. "Ben can get any information."

"He's right." Ben laughed as he sat down. "I can. So, what information do I need to find out?"

"Bella's got a crush on Jasper." Angela blurted out and I'd never felt so angry at her until now. "Just...kidding?" She said in more of a question.

"You like...curly?" Ben asked surprised since for a while all I could do was complain about him since he was acting like such a man whore. I mean, him and Edward actually went to a _strip club_ on Edward's birthday. And Edward has a girlfriend. And, they'd probably go again in November when Emmett turned eighteen.

"No."

"Liar!" Ben yelled. "It's okay if you do...it's just surprising."

"Okay, we...had a moment at my party. It's gone, it passed." I sighed. "Just, let it go for goodness sake." I told them as I stood up with my tray to throw my food away. But, Jasper had the same idea I did and was right behind me when I turned around to get out of my seat.

I spilled almost my entire salad...ranch dressing and all...all over the front of his shirt. I could feel my face turning red as I heard my friends laughter behind me and didn't even bother to help clean himself up before bolting out of the cafeteria.

I knew it wasn't a big thing to get upset about. It wasn't like I'd dumped it all over Jessica or any of the people she hung out with. But, apparently, Jasper wasn't just Jasper anymore. He was the guy I had a new crush on, and it was so embarrassing for that to happen.

I somehow was able to avoid Jasper for the rest of the day, even though Edward told me in the car home I had absolutely nothing to be so embarrassed about. I ignored him because of course he was wrong. But, when we pulled into the driveway and found Dad's cruiser and Mom's car in the driveway, we knew something was wrong.

"Hello!" Edward called through the house as he set his backpack down on the kitchen table and grabbed an Oreo just like every other day. But, when we walked into the kitchen and saw both of the Cullen's sitting with our mother, we knew something was up.

And it wasn't a good thing.

"What's...going on?" I asked cautiously as I put my bag down on the floor and went over to where my mother was sitting on the couch.

"Edward, sit down please." My father insisted after a few minutes of silence. My mother gave my hand a squeeze before she stood up and walked over to my father.

"You guys are scaring me." I whispered, trying not to over react. "What's going on? Are you sick?"

"No, Bella." My mother said, trying to smile. "We aren't sick."

"Then...what?" Edward asked, and when I looked over, I could tell even he was trying to keep it together.

"We have to go back." Dad finally sighed.

"Back?" I asked. "Back where?"

"Oversea, Bells." Mom whispered and I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes. They couldn't be going back. They were told they'd be able to stay here with us.

"No," I argued. "They said you wouldn't need to go back."

"Things aren't always certain in the military, sweetheart." Mom whispered. "You know that."

"What's...going to happen to us?" Edward asked since the only person who was able to take care of us died. "Where are we going?"

"With us." Carlisle spoke up. "You two are going to come live with us until your parents come back."

"Really?" I asked. I was not prepared for my parents to go back to war let alone to be living in the same house with Jasper.

"Yes," Esme smiled. "You two know you're family. It wasn't even a question."

"When do you leave?" Edward asked.

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks?" I asked. I needed more than two weeks to adjust to the thought of them leaving. I needed a whole lot more time with them than two freaking weeks. "That's too soon."

"I'm sorry, Bella. But, that's whats needed to be done." Dad shrugged as he wrapped his arms around my mother.

"No," I cried, finally letting the tears fall as I rushed up and over to my parents, wrapping my arms tightly around them. I could feel my mother rubbing my back while my father just tried to wipe away the pain by kissing the top of my head. "No,"

"I'm sorry, baby." Dad whispered as I felt him beginning to shake. I felt another person grab onto us and when I looked up, I saw Edward through my blurry vision.

"You two are going to have to take care of each other." Mom reminded us. "Edward,"

"I know, mom." He said with a shaky voice. "I'll take good care of her."

"We know you will." Mom said and then, no one said anything else.

After we all let go of each other, we sat down with Carlisle and Esme and talked through everything. Living with them wouldn't be a problem. They were second parents to me and it actually sounded fun. Other than the fact my parents were going back to the war. Both Edward and I would be able to have our own rooms, and they assured us over and over that it was not a burden.

No matter how many times Edward and I tried arguing that we were.

After they left, I retreated to my room for some alone time. I desperately needed it to try and think things over. But, I was interrupted only a few minutes in by the doorbell and since I didn't hear anyone else going towards it, I left my room to answer it.

But, I hadn't expected to see who was standing on my porch.

"Hi, Bella." Jasper whispered, looking sad for us.

"Hey," I said, trying to smile, but my eyes only filled with tears.


	3. Everyone's Here

**Chapter Two: Everyone's Here**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"Afghanistan?" I asked my parents after they got home from the Swan's house. I'd almost forgotten Charlie and Renee were apart of the army and they were still enlisted. Meaning, they could be shipped off at any moment.

And apparently that moment had come.

"Yeah," Mom whispered. "They leave in two weeks."

"Where are Bella and Edward gonna go?" Rosalie asked. "I mean, didn't there Grandma Swan take care of them last time?"

"Yes she did." Dad sighed. "They're going to come and live here."

"Here?" I asked. "With us?"

"That is here, you dope." Rosalie giggled. "When do they move in?"

"A few days before Charlie and Renee leave." Dad explained. "We need both of you on your best behavior and your A-game."

"Dad, do you even have to ask?" Rosalie asked. "This is Bella and Edward for goodness sake. They're family."

"That's my girl." Mom smiled. After Rosalie and I got something to eat, I paced around my room for a while before getting in my car and going for a drive. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do once I got there, but I had to get out of the house.

I found myself in front of the Swan's small home. I didn't know why. I knew that when things like this happened, Edward didn't like talking about it right away and he usually shut people out. I knew he wouldn't talk to me so I really had no idea why I was here.

But, I got out of the car anyway and jogged up the walkway to the door. I rang the bell a few times and even thought of going back and getting into my car. But, I saw the porch light go on and I knew there was no escaping now. It was Bella who opened the door and I was happy since she'd avoided me all day after the salad incident at lunch.

"Hi, Bella." I said with a sad smile. I just felt so bad for them. They thought they were done back in 2004 when they came home the first time. No one thought they'd go back.

"Hey," She whispered and I saw the unshed tears in her eyes. I had never been a good person when you needed comfort. I couldn't even comfort my own twin when our dog died right before we turned twelve.

So, I did what my mom always did when someone was crying and walked over to her, and brought her close to me. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt her tugging at my shirt and I gently rubbed her back. I didn't know what else to do, so I just held her while she sobbed. I knew how scared she was. Hell, I was scared shitless and they weren't even my blood parents.

"It's going to be okay." I whispered, but I was lying. I had no idea what was going to happen. "You're going to make it through this." That, I knew for sure. Bella was strong. Stronger than any sixteen year old girl I knew. She worried and cared about important things, not who broke up with who or what her hair would look like the next day.

"You...don't know that." She sobbed and began crying even harder. I figured the best thing to do was let her cry, so that what I did. After a few minutes, she finally stopped shaking and then, crying all together and lifted her head.

"Oh, wow." She giggled as she began brushing my shirt. I looked down and saw she'd left a giant wet spot right on my chest, darkening the color of the shirt. "Sorry,"

"It's only water." I shrugged.

"I'll go get Edward." She sighed as she tried stepping out of my grip, but I couldn't let her go for some reason. It was like I needed her to be close to me. "Jasper?"

"Oh, sorry." I smiled, freeing her from my grip. "I'm not here for Edward."

"What?"

"I mean, just Edward." I blabbered, trying to save myself from further humiliation. "I mean, I know it's going to take some time before he wants to talk and I just couldn't sit in my house anymore...and I found myself...here."

"You want some coffee?" She asked after I'd finally shut up. All I could do was nod in fear that I'd start blabbering again. I followed her into the kitchen and she pulled the coffee maker from under the counter and filled it with the right amount of water.

For the time she made the coffee, we were silent in the kitchen. I'd never been alone with a girl without speaking and it not be awkward. Something always had to be making noise. Whether it was the radio or one of us talking.

But with Bella, the only noise in the room was the coffee brewing.

"Do you like creme or sugar?" She asked me as the pot filled to the top.

"Both if you have it." I whispered and I swear I heard my voice crack. She put both in front of my and I only smiled to keep myself from sounding like an idiot. "Has Edward come out of his room?" I asked as she sat down across from.

"Only when mom made him come down for dinner." She shrugged. "Was he like this the first time?"

"I think so," I nodded. "But, I mean he was only six or seven so it might have been different."

"Right,"

"Are you doing okay?" I asked and I saw her smile fade completely and her face turn even whiter than it usually was. "You can tell me."

"I know they're strong." She said. "But, so many things could go wrong. And, I just turned sixteen...I want them to be at all the important moments in my life, and in Edward's life. I don't want them missing anything.." She cried. "I want them here for everything."

"Then you have to have faith that they will be here for everything." I told her. "Because then you're telling yourself every single day that they won't be coming home and they will miss it."

"When did you get so smart?" She laughed. "I mean, last time I talked to you...you only could talk about Halo and girls butt's."

"I'm an adult not, Bella." I reminded her. "It's my job to give the youngsters wisdom."

"Yeah, I think I told you something very similar about having faith." She giggled and I only shrugged like I didn't know anything.

Even though that's what she told me when my dog ran away when Rosalie and I were eight.

* * *

"What in the world have you been doing in there?" Mom asked me when I came out of the room Bella was going to be using, covered in paint. "Jasper, did you redecorate that room without her knowing?"

"She's going to be really sad when she comes to stay in a few days." I shrugged. "I wanted to do something that would make her happy."

"Okay, but you have to redo it if she doesn't like it." She told me. "I'm nor hiring people to undo what you were told to leave alone in the first place."

"Says the interior designer!" I called as she walked away. Once the paint was dry, I'd be able to set up the furniture. But, it wouldn't be dry for a few hours, so I decided to go out to my dad's workshop and start on the bookshop.

It his free time, my dad always brought me out here and taught me how to make something. We started out with birdhouses, but now, I could probably build enough furniture to furnish and entire house.

"You know she probably has a bookshelf." Rosalie sighed when she walked into the work shop.

"Yeah, but they agreed most of her things would stay there." I told her. "So they can just go home when Charlie and Renee get back."

"I hope you aren't filling her head with faulty hope about them coming home."

"Rosalie, what am I supposed to say?" I asked. "That her parents are going to get blown up and die and she'll never see them again?"

"No, you can be encouraging without getting someones hope up." She snapped. "What are you gonna do if that does happen?" She asked. "I mean, I do not want it to happen, but there is always that chance."

"I'd rather give her hope and faith rather than break her spirits completely."

She left me alone after that and I was able to finish the bookshelf for her. After I'd painted it, I left it there to dry before going back upstairs to her room. The purple paint had dried and I grabbed the wallpaper that would cover two of her walls and began gently putting it up.

Her room took two days to complete, but as I stood back and looked at my handy work, I had to pat myself on the back.

"Whoa, looks good, Jazz." Dad chuckled as he came inside. "Can you redo our bedroom?"

"Mom would kill you...and me." I laughed as I looked around the room. It really did come out nice and I was very proud.

"Why did you do this in the first place?" He asked and I just started rocking back and forth. "Jasper, no. She's Edward's little sister."

"What?" I asked. "I just did something nice for her."

"Son, I love you to death. But, the only time you ever do anything nice for a girl is when you want something in return." He reminded me. "I know you better than anyone and I mean this when I say do not get involved with Bella."

"Dad, come on. She's like a sister to me."

"Jazz, come on. I know when you're up to something."

"Why can't I just do something nice?" I asked. "I mean, they're going through a hard time."

"You can do something nice," He nodded. "Just, don't do it for something in return."

"Dad, come on." I laughed. "Bella? Besides, she isn't really my type. She has brown hair."

"You think I'm so naive, don't you?" He chuckled. "I've seen your little friends sneaking out at night sometimes...they aren't all blonde you know."

"Oh," I whispered as I felt my face turning hot. I knew they knew I wasn't a virgin, but it still wasn't a good idea to get caught.

It was a sleepless night. For some reason, knowing Bella would be sleeping in the next room in a night made me toss and turn. I had no idea what had come over me. She had always just been...Bella. But, seeing her in that beautiful white dress on the night of her party made me see her in a different light. Not as Edward's baby sister or as the little bookworm she was. But, as a woman. A woman I felt very attracted to.

Early the next morning, there was a loud knock on the door and forgetting what day it was, I rolled over and tried going back to sleep. But, the second I heard her muffled voice downstairs, I was awake and brushing my teeth and running down the stairs.

"Hi, Jasper." Renee greeted sadly as Bella almost hid behind Charlie. She was afraid to let them go, and I just wanted her to be okay. But, I knew as long as they were over there, she wouldn't be.

"Hey," I smiled, leaning and and giving her a tight hug. My dad, Charlie, Edward, and I worked on getting their bags out of the three cars they'd driven over here and it was then I realized just how serious this was. No one knew how long they'd be gone and there was no way they'd be making weekly trips back to their house for their clothes or whatever else they needed.

We had dinner together for the last time and when they were getting up to leave, I couldn't help but shed a few tears as I watched the four of them hug each other. It didn't last long and Edward ran upstairs and into my room as Bella let go and fell into my mothers arms. Renee stood in front of Rosalie and I and gave us a big hug.

"Take care of my babies." She cried as I felt tears hitting my shoulder. We both nodded, unable to say anything before she let go and walked over to my dad. Charlie did the same thing before the walked outside into the cool September air and got into their cars. I felt Bella shaking as she stood next to me and I pulled her into my side. Just wanting her to feel safe.

But, as they turned the cars on, she escaped from my grasp and ran towards her fathers police cruiser. She hugged him from outside the car and Dad had to pull her off of him. They needed to leave now or they never would. I watched as they drove away and her fall to the cement floor of the space they'd just vacated. I watched as she cried into her knees and my dad as he knelt down beside her and gently rubber her back.

"I'm gonna go check on Edward." I sniffled as I wiped my face and walked back inside. I walked upstairs to my room and gently knocked on the door. He thankfully didn't lock it and I was able to get inside, but only to find him laying on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Remember the posters we hung up here when we were little thirteen year old brats?" He laughed as I sat down at my desk chair. "Those girls were hot."

"They were." I agreed. They were Victoria's Secret models. Of course they were fucking hot. "Remember when my mom finally found them and tore them down."

"Yeah, and she ripped them up right in front of us and gave us an hour long lecture about respecting women and how this was disgusting for us." He laughed. "Mom never found my posters." He cried and I saw a tear escape from his eye and fall into his hairline. "I went home that night and took them down, but when I was packing my things up, they were still at the bottom of my t-shirt drawer."

"Wow," I snickered. I had no idea what to say to him. This kid was my best friend and I had no clue what to say to make him feel better. "I bet my mom told her though. They couldn't keep anything from each other."

"No, they couldn't." He agreed as he sat up. His eyes were puffy, like he'd been crying all day until it was time to leave. "How's Bella?"

"When I came inside, she was sitting in the driveway and my dad was trying to comfort her."

"I should go make sure she's okay." He said, trying to get up, but I pushed him back down on the bed. "Jazz," He sighed.

"Edward, you worry about you right now." I huffed. "You have to learn to put yourself first sometimes."

"I do,"

"No, you put Bella or your mom, or Alice before you. All the time." I pointed out. "Deal with this by yourself and then go help your sister."

"I feel like such a selfish person when I don't help her."

"Sometimes, you need to be a little selfish." I shrugged. "She'll understand...most girls don't have big brother's who assume the role of second father."

"Yeah, I guess." He sighed with a sad smile. "I'm just afraid if I take time to deal with this for myself...I'll never leave this room."

"Oh, you'll leave this room alright. It'd mine." I reminded him. "Your room is next door and my mother said she'll fix it up anyway you want."

"I guess it pays to live with a professional."

"My house would not look this good if we didn't." I laughed.

After spending a few more minutes with him, I decided to leave him alone to process before going downstairs to find my dad beginning to lug all their bags upstairs. Bella whispered to me which ones were hers before falling back into my mothers embrace on the couch and cried some more.

For a girl who didn't really cared what she looked like, she sure had heavy bags. But, I guess that's what happens when you're a girl.

I finally finished carting her bags upstairs, and was just jumping to show her her new room. I went over to where she was resting her head on mom's shoulder and gently grabbed her hand. She was too tired to fight so she just let me lead her where I wanted and I stopped in front of her bedroom door.

"Jasper, what's going on?" She asked and I could see more unshed tears in her eyes. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, earning a sad smile, before I opened the door for her. I grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, and she just stood there with her mouth wide open. "Wow, your mom did a good job."

"It wasn't...my mom." I whispered and she whipped her head around to look at me. "I did this."

"You...you did this for me?" She asked and I just softly smiled at me. I saw more teas fall, but this time they were out of happiness and not sadness because she began to giggle. She ran over to me and rammed into me, almost knocking me over, before hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her a tight squeeze before she let go of me.

"So, do you like it?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"It's...perfect." She smiled. "Thank you so much."

"Well, I figured you'd need something to make you smile today." I shrugged. "Plus, I know you don't like decorating."

"I don't," She agreed. "But, why did you do it? Why didn't you ask Esme to?"

"I don't know," I whispered. I really didn't. Maybe I was just trying to impress her. Maybe I was hoping for something in return. Maybe I just wanted her to be happy. I had no clue because my dad was right, I never did this kind of thing...especially for a girl. "I just wanted you to be happy here."

"The room's a start." She shrugged. "Thanks,"

"I had fun doing it, so you are very welcome."

I shower her all the nooks and crannies I'd added before mom called everyone down for dinner. Edward still hadn't come out of my room and Bella spent most of her time, pushing the food around on her plate, but never actually eating it. No one pushed her, but I didn't want her to make herself sick over this.

But, I also knew she needed time. And right now, that was all anyone could give either of them.


	4. Hard to Take Courage

**Chapter Three: Hard to Take Courage**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"He did what?" Angela asked me Monday at school.

"He decorated my room." I shrugged. It was nothing to make a huge deal out of. He was doing it to be nice and I guess to try and take my mind off of what was happening. It worked, but only for a few seconds. "It isn't a big deal or anything."

"Bella, he decorated your room for you." Chloe told me. "I mean, he took the time to paint, and put wallpaper up, and buy a bedspread and everything." She pointed out. "And, did you say he built you a bookshelf?"

"That's what he said," I nodded.

"Oh honey," Ben laughed. "He's into you."

"No he isn't!" I argued. They'd been telling me since my party that Jasper had a new thing for me and he wanted me. But, he was Edward's best friend and he was just not into me that way. The only way he loved me was in a sisterly way. That's the way it's always been. "He's Edward's best friend...he's like a brother to me."

"Do you get all flustered when you talk to Edward?" Angela asked.

"Do you blush when you talk about Edward?" Chloe asked.

"Do you wanna grab Edward in your arms to hug?" Angela asked and I just shook my head no to all those questions. "Then, Bella, whether you wanna admit it or not, you have a crush as Jasper Cullen."

"No!" I fought, even though I was lying to them and myself. Of course I had a crush as Jasper. I'd had a crush on him since I was six years old and he gave me my first necklace for my birthday. He was perfect...other than the fact that he never had a girlfriend. Like, ever. "I don't."

"You can deny it all you want," Chloe whispered. "But, if you keep denying that you have a crush on him, absolutely nothing will happen with you two."

"Nothing is going to happen whether or not I admit I have a crush on him. Which I don't."

They kept bugging me all day at school, and I kept denying it. I didn't want to believe he started having feelings for me because I'd be the one to get hurt in all of this. Because with Jasper, there was no telling what could happen, what'd he do. And then, there was my brother. He would kill Jasper if he found out anything had happened between us and then, he'd lecture me for days about it.

Everything screamed danger about being with him in any other way besides just friends.

That's all we were and all we could ever be.

When I got home after I'd spent the afternoon with Mike and Chloe, I knew I was right. I couldn't help but overhear Jasper moaning and that girl screaming in pleasure. If he liked me so much, he wouldn't be screwing anyone else. I locked myself in my room with my music turned all the way up as I tried to drawn out, but it was impossible.

"Hey, Bells." Jasper said as he opened my door, and I looked up at him in confusion. Who ever was in Jasper's room was still going at it, and he was obviously right int front of me.

"How are you here?" I asked.

"What?" He laughed as he walked in and sat at my desk chair across from me. He stiffened as he listened closer after I had turned down my music and nodded his head as his lips pursed together. "That, my dear Bella, is your beloved brother, Edward and his lovely girlfriend going at it."

"WHAT?" I asked appalled. I turned my music up again, but then I couldn't even be in the same fifty feet as them and rushed downstairs into the basement. "Ew!"

"Come on, you've never heard them?" He laughed.

"No!" I shook my head before bursting into laughter. It was just so wrong, but laughing was the only thing I could think of at this point. "They're in your room?"

"Edward's room is being painted." He shrugged. "They can't go in there for another day, and Rosalie would kill them if they did...that in her room."

"You two are way too close." I said in disgust. I would never in a million years be okay if I found out Angela had been using my bed for sex, and I'd be yelling at her, not shrugging it off.

"What can I say, we might have well have shared the same womb." He laughed. "I mean, our moms were that close."

"Yeah," I nodded, suddenly remembering my parents were leaving tomorrow. It had been okay for the last few days. We were still able to call to talk and when I passed their house on my run yesterday, it hadn't been closed up yet.

"I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry." He whispered as he walked over to me and hugged me again. I buried my head in his chest, and tried fighting off the tears that were burning in my eyes. But, I was powerless and they came without warning and once I started, I couldn't seem to stop. I was crying more this week than I had since Grandma Swan died.

"Shhh," He hushed as he rubbed my back. There was nothing he could say to make me feel better and he knew that. He just rubbed my back and let me cry it out until I heard footsteps on the stares.

"Bella?" Edward asked as he rushed over to me. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling me away from Jasper. I only glared at him before running upstairs, and I heard someone get hit over the head. Edward and Alice both came upstairs, trying to apologize to me, but I just didn't wanna hear it. Edward was always telling me it was a good idea to wait until you found the person you'd spend the rest of your life with.

I knew they loved each other and really were perfect for each other, but I had my doubts that they'd be together forever.

* * *

Somehow, the next few weeks passed by peacefully. With the help of the Cullen's and my friends, my mind was able to stay off the what if's with my parents oversea. I was able to develop some sort of routine in my new home and Edward and I went back to normal. It was still weird, waking up in such a lavish house when our real home was so simple, but I had to admit.

I liked the way the rich lived.

They had a housekeeper to help Esme with the cleaning and cooking since both her and Carlisle worked, but she was like family to everyone. They treated her like an aunt or a grandmother and she never complained once about having two more sets of mouths to feed or more people to clean up after. She seemed to know Edward and I like the others because everyday she had my to-go cup of coffee and some toast with peanut butter waiting for me.

"Thanks, Linda." I smiled as I sat down and took a bite of toast. The women's cooking was out of this world and she even made toast taste like it was from a five star place. Jasper and I ate eyeing each other and darting each other's gazes when one of us caught the other, like everyday.

Maybe my friends were right. Maybe he did have a thing for me. But, no matter how strong our feelings were, nothing would ever be acted on. He was Edward's best friends. One of my closet friends and if anything were to ever go wrong, I couldn't bear to lose that friendship we had. He was too important.

"Ready?" He asked since Edward had spent the night at Emmett's last night. I took one last bite, thanked Linda, and grabbed my coffee and backpack. Rosalie had already gone to pick Alice up so it was just the two of us in his truck today. It was a silent ride, other than his AC/DC CD playing in the backround, but it wasn't awkward like I thought it might be.

Jasper and I had this weird connection that we were able to just sit together without anything being weird. There was no such thing as awkward silence between us. It was easy to be with him. Like being with Mike or Ben.

"Thanks for driving me." I whispered as we neared the school.

"I wouldn't make you take the bus, Bells." He laughed as he looked over at me with those beautiful green eyes. He turned into the student lot and parked not far from school in a spot marked 'Senior Parking' Damn seniors, had the best of everything in this school.

We walked into school together, but parted ways when he spotted Edward and Emmett over by his lockers. I walked downstairs to the underclassman lockers and stuffed my bag with everything I'd need for the first three periods.

"So?" Angela asked as we sat down in the cafeteria before homeroom started. "I saw you and Jasper walking into school together." She giggled as Mike and Chloe came and sat down.

"Edward spent the night at Emmett's." I shrugged. "Jasper gave me a ride."

"Why didn't you go with Rosalie?" Mike asked with a little bit of drool on the corner of his mouth. He had always had a thing for Rosalie. I mean, who wouldn't. She was gorgeous.

"She left earlier than us to pick Alice up." I explained. "Not everything that happens between Jasper and I is because I have a crush on him."

"So, you admit it?" Chloe asked.

"You guys are impossible." I shook my head. "Of course I have a crush on Jasper Cullen. And, if you make me say it again I'm going to slug you."

"Ummm, Bella?" Mike asked, pointing to something behind him, but I just ignored him.

"I mean, you guys have known about this crush since my birthday and it hasn't changed." I huffed. "Hell, you've known about it since I was four years old and he helped me inside after I fell off my little tricycle."

"Bella!" Angela yelled, getting my attention and pointing in the same direction Mike had. I turned around to see Emmett and Jasper standing behind me and I could feel my face growing red. My mouth hung open like an idiot and the only thing I could think of doing was getting up and running away like the little baby I was.

I ran into the bathroom in tears and just wished I would have kept my mouth closed. Now, I was going to be the laughing stock of the school, and I shook my head at that thought. Of course Jasper would never tell anyone, even as big of a jerk he could be, he'd never make a fool out of me. And as long as Emmett kept his mouth shut, I'd be safe.

I walked out of the bathroom when the morning bell rang and thankfully, no one talked about what happened in the cafeteria. But, at lunch, I couldn't stop myself from staring at him. When he was with his friends, it this whole other side to him. He was smiling and laughing and just having a good time. But, then he always seemed to be having a good time.

"So, should we go to the party at town hall for Halloween?" Chloe asked as Angela and I flipped through channels in my room. It was hard to believe it was already the middle of October, and it had almost been a month since my parents had left.

"Why?" I asked. "We've never gone before."

"Exactly my point!" She laughed. "We're sophomores now, it's time we start getting out there more and having fun." She declared. "It's time for us to spread our wings and open new doors."

"That's the lamest thing I've ever heard." Angela laughed. "But, you may be right."

"I know I am." She nodded. "Bella?"

"Sure, I'm in." I smiled. It would be fun to do something other than watch dumb scary movies and hand out candy. She was right we were sophomores in high school and the most fun we'd ever had was my sixteenth birthday party a few weeks ago.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked as he opened my door slightly. "Chloe's mom is here."

"Okay," She nodded as her and Angela grabbed their things and headed for the door. "Bye, Bells!" I worked on some homework before deciding to go downstairs to see what Edward was up to. He'd been more distant lately and I just wanted my normal brother back.

But, as I was heading towards the staircase, I heard music coming from Jasper's room. I saw it was cracked open and stopped to press my ear to the door and hoped to hear better. It wasn't him singing or playing the guitar, but it sounded like remixes of popular songs put together.

"You don't have to stand there, Bella." He suddenly said, making me jump. "You can come in."

"Oh," I sighed. It would have been a lot more awkward later if I had left without saying anything than it would be to just go inside. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open as I walked further inside. I had never really been in his room before. I'd seen it in passing, but as I walked to where he was sitting at his desk, I realized how nice it was.

"Have a seat," He motioned towards the bed as he turned the computer off after a disk had been spit out of the holder. "Did you like it?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "What was it?"

"Wrecking Ball mixed with Somebody I Used to Know." He told me and I swear I saw him blushing. "Felix is going to give it to Jane as a goodbye present."

"When did they break up?"

"A little while ago, actually." He shrugged. Felix and Jane was that couple in Jasper's grade who were always breaking up, but got back together a week later. So, to hear that it had been a while since they had broken up was interesting. "He's moved onto Jess though."

"Jessica Stanley?" I asked since she was only fifteen and in my grade.

"Yep, he says he wants to try dating a 'virgin' to see if they are 'as tight as everyone says.'" He grumbled, but with a smirk on his face.

"He's going to be might disappointed." I laughed. "That virginity ship sailed long ago." I told him and he came over and sat down next to me on the bed. This was as close as we'd been since my party, and I could feel my heart rate picking up.

"You don't have to be embarrassed or ashamed, Bella." He whispered, pushing a piece of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear.

"About...about what?" I stuttered.

"Having a crush on me." He whispered and I thought we were passed that when he didn't talk to me about it afterwards. "Because, if I'm being honest...I have a little crush on you too."

"What?" I asked as I scooted away from him, but no space would be enough to keep us apart apparently because he just followed me. "But, you've never liked anyone...before."

"True," He sighed. "Until now."

"I can't trust what you say, Jasper." I told him. "You don't have 'crushes' or 'girlfriends.' You have one night stands." I pointed out. "And, I'm not some random girl who wants in your pants."

"No, you aren't." He agreed. "You're something much more special."

"Jasper, don't." I fought as he tried cupping my face with his hand. "Don't ruin this friendship because we both know I'm the one who's going to get hurt."

"Why does anyone have to get hurt?" He asked.

"Because," I argued. "I'm the girl who's never been kissed and you're the boy who lost his virginity at fourteen."

"Who...who told you that?"

"No one, I overheard you and Edward talking about it one day after it happened." I smiled. "You two really need to man up, by the way."

"Hey," He laughed, lightly slapping me in the arm. "I can change. For you."

"How many girls have you said that to?"

"Only you." He whispered. "I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time believing that, Jasper."

"Why?"

"I already told you!" I snapped. "You've never had a girlfriend."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I never had feelings for anyone.

"What?" I asked. "So, you have a girl you were madly in love with until she broke your heart and you swore off women all together? Is that it?"

"No...she died." He huffed, looking away. "In a car accident the beginning of freshman year." He whispered. "She was the one I lost it to."

"Jasper, I didn't know..."

"No one knew how strong my feelings for her were." He told me. "But, I just never wanted to feel that pain again so I decided it was best to just be with someone once, maybe twice, and move on."

"That isn't any better, Jasper." I whispered. "That's lonely."

"You're telling me."

"Then, why me?" I asked. "Why the little sister of your best friend?" I asked. "Do you know what Edward would do to you if he knew what you were telling me? How you felt?"

"I know, he'd kill me." He nodded. "But, you're with it."

"I'm sorry, but I can't trust you." I whispered. "Not yet anyway." He was about to argue when there was a loud, urgent knock on the door. Esme and Carlisle both came storming inside, and Esme looked like she'd been crying.

"Mom?" Jasper asked, moving away from me. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"You two heard about that helicopter crash the other day in Afghanistan?" Carlisle asked and we both knocked. "Well, they finally IDed the seven Americans who were inside and..." He began, but stopped in order to recompose himself and take a deep breath.

"You guys are scaring me." I whispered. I'd been on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear the seven people were for days ever since I saw what happened on the news. "Who was it? Mom?"

"Both," Esme cried as she buried her face in Carlisle's shoulder. My body froze in confusion. Both? My mom and dad had died in that helicopter? Neither of them were coming home. I felt myself shaking as tears filled in my eyes and I couldn't stop it.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." Carlisle whispered as Jasper scooped me up in his arms and held me like a baby as I cried.


	5. Come and Gone Away

**Chapter Four: Come and Gone Away**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"Hey," Emmett whispered as he stood on the porch that night. It had been the worst night of my life. Renee and Charlie, two of the sweetest people and my second parents...were dead. After all that hope and faith I tried giving Bella, they were just gone. "Rosalie called."

"Edward's locked himself in his room." I told him. "You can come in if you want,"

"Rosalie just sounded really shaken over the phone, I wanted to come and see if she was going to be okay...I know Edward won't be." He told me and I stepped aside and let him in. He went upstairs and it didn't take much begging for Rosalie to open the door and let him inside.

For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to cry. I felt numb, and nothing mattered anymore. The only person that I knew who died was my Grandpa Platt. Rosalie and I were only seven when it happened and we only saw him on my Mom's birthday and during Easter when he'd fly the four of us down to Florida. I was sad when I heard, but it didn't feel like this. And, when Maria died, I was in a daze for a week. I didn't even know where I was half the time. It didn't hit me until she didn't come to school for a month and by then, I felt too much time had passed to really be upset.

This feeling was like someone knocked the wind out of me, and nothing would ever matter again. Like, the world really was coming to an end. I tried so hard to believe they'd be okay and be strong for Bella and Edward, but I was hitting myself for being so positive. They were going back to war, of course there was a possibility of death and I tried telling them that would never happen.

I went back upstairs to see if Bella was still alive since I hadn't heard her since she threw us all out and began throwing things around her room. I gently knocked on the door, and when I found it unlocked, I opened it a crack to see her. She was lying face down on her bed, but I could see her slight movement so at least she was breathing. I was about to close the door again, when I heard the sweetest thing.

"Please don't leave me," She sobbed and my heart broke into more pieces.

"I wouldn't think of it," I smiled as I closed the door behind me and made my way over to her bed. I sat down next to her and she sat up and curled into my side. She was so helpless, and I just didn't know how to help. I wanted to. I wasn't lying to her when I told her I was developing feelings for her, and if you have feelings for a girl, you do everything you can t make her feel better.

But, I knew this wouldn't pass anytime soon, so I gave her what I thought she wanted. Time. I let her cry, and shake, and scream as much as she wanted to and I didn't say a word. At least not until I thought she was going to choke by the way she was sobbing so hard.

"Bella?" I asked and she only seemed to cry harder. I gripped her tighter and kissed the top of her head, only wanting her to calm down. And, I don't know if it was she didn't have any more tears or I really was calming her down, but she eventually did stop crying so hard.

I spent the rest of the night holding her until her breathing was deep and steady, signaling she'd fallen asleep. But, I didn't want to leave her alone so I pulled the old cot out from the closet from when Rosalie and I were kids and had sleepovers often and dragged it into her room. I fixed the sheets and got into it, trying to fall asleep. But, it was impossible with this weight on my shoulders.

I'd expressed my feelings, and now I'd actually have to show them. I mean, sure I really did care about her but like she'd pointed out, I'd never had a girlfriend, only one night stands. I wasn't Mr. Expressive. I was a person who just did what he had to do. But, I had a feeling I had to do more than just do things to show her, I actually had to show her with small gestures and smiles and that kind of crap. The kind of stuff I caught Edward doing for Alice all the time.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing I remember is someone softly saying my name. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Bella awake in bed, her face turned towards me. I smiled at her, but I could already see the tears welling up in her eyes. I quickly got out of the cot and went to sit on the bed next to her.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her into a sitting position before I wrapped my arms around her, and began rubbing her back.

"No, don't cry, Bella." I whispered as I left a kiss on the top of her head. "Please don't cry,"

"I...I can't...help...it." She stuttered as she began to cry harder. "It...just kinda...happens."

"Shhhh," I whispered gently as I just let whatever was going to happen, happen. She was going to cry whether or not I was here and whether or not I was the best boyfriend in the entire world. Thankfully, she didn't cry for as long this morning, but I didn't let go when her sobs died down.

I held her tighter.

"There you are," Mom smiled as she poked her head through the door. "Breakfast is ready if you guys want some."

"No," Bella shook her head before burying her head in my shoulder again.

"And, Chloe, Angela, and Mike are here, Bella." She told us before closing the door again.

"Can...you tell them to leave?" She asked. "I'm not ready to see people."

"I can do whatever you want me to do," I smiled as I kissed her forehead. "But, I think it'd be a good idea to see them, Bella. Keeping yourself locked away like your brother isn't going to help anything and you're going to feel worse." I told her as I let go of her hand and walked out to the hallway, closing her door.

I walked downstairs and saw Chloe, Mike, and Angela with the same blank expression I'd had since finding out. It was like Renee and Charlie being gone meant everyone lost their parents. They were some of the sweetest people I'd ever met. Even barely being able to afford the two kids they already had, they took Chloe in for a month while her mother was in the hospital after a horrible car accident.

They weren't just Bella and Edward's mom and dad, they were everyone's parents.

"She's...she doesn't wanna come down, guys." I whispered. "Sorry,"

"Please, we just wanna make sure she's okay." Chloe argued and I could see the tears in her eyes.

"I know," I nodded. "But, she isn't in the mood."

"Who are you to say if she's in the mood or not?" Mike snapped. He was not a person to mess up when something tragic happens. He was mean when he was upset. "Let us see her."

"I'm just telling you what she told me," I sighed. "But, please if you wanna piss her off on top of everything else she's feeling, go upstairs and try talking to her."

"Screw you," Mike spat as he stormed out of the house, but not without slamming the front door behind him. I turned to see both girls in tears, as they held each other's hands.

"I'm sure she'll be up for visitors soon," I shrugged. "She's still in shock I think,"

"Thanks, Jasper." Angela sniffled before they followed Mike outside.

* * *

"You look nice," I heard Rosalie say from my door. I looked up and smiled at her through my mirror before turning around and taking a look at her. Rosalie was able to look good in anything and black dresses were no exception. "You're not wearing a tie?"

"I always feel like I'm being choked when I wear one." I shrugged. "But, if you think it's appropriate then I will,"

"No, you don't have to." She sniffled as she went over to my closet and pulled out a white button down and a black sweater. "But, if you're going tieless, I think this is they way to go."

"You're the expert." I joked. "Has Edward come out yet?" I asked as I unbuttoned the black button down and switched it for the white.

"Only for a shower," She sighed. "I heard him go in early this morning," She explained as she handed me the sweater. I pulled it over my head and turned to her and she nodded in approval. Then, her smile faded and a tear slowly streamed down her cheek. I walked over to her and tried keeping it in like I'd been doing the entire week, but in Rosalie's arms, I was just able to let everything out.

I started sobbing for the first time in...my entire life. She rubbed my back as I felt her tears seeping through my sweater. There was a soft knock on my door and I turned to see Dad walking in, putting his suit jacket on.

"Emmett's here, Rose." He smiled, kissing her cheek before she left to go downstairs. "You doing okay, son?" He asked as he handed me a tissue."

"Yeah," I nodded. "That's just the first time...I, ah...let it...out." I whispered and he hugged me tightly before leaving my room. I grabbed my keys and wallet before turning the light off and leaving the room. As I walked out, Edward was shutting his door behind him and he turned to me and gave me a weak smile.

"You look nice," He whispered. "We should get dressed up more often." He joked, surprising me. I didn't think he had funny in him anymore.

"Yeah, I guess we should." I laughed as I looked over and saw Bella's door halfway open. "I'm gonna go see if Bella's ready yet."

"Kay," He nodded as he headed downstairs and I went over to her door. I was thankful I had been close to Bella before this. I didn't need him asking me why I was checking on his baby sister, making sure she was ready to go rather than him. I knocked on the door even though I could see her at her mirror, trying to clasp her necklace.

I walked over and gently took the chain from her hands and clasped it together, letting it fall on her chest. She looked up and smiled at me as she reached down and grabbed her grandmothers gold ring. She turned around and for the first time all week, her eyes were dry. They were red and puffy, but they were dry.

"Where's Rosalie?" She asked softly as she put chapstick on her lips.

"Downstairs, why?" I asked.

"The shoes I was going to wear broke this morning when I was digging them out of my closet," She smiled. "I need a new pair."

"I'll go get her." I assured her as I walked out and went downstairs. Mom came down while Bella and Rosalie were upstairs and gave me a kiss on the cheek like she did every morning. Soon, the girls came downstairs and we piled into the cars to head to their viewing. Bella was sitting in between Edward and I in Dad's car and without thinking, I reached over and grabbed her hand.

When we got to the home, I nearly had to carry Bella inside. It was like her brain no longer worked or she was numb to the bone. But, with Edward's help, we were able to get her inside. Charlie and Renee were placed into a large room together, with closed caskets. My parents figured it would be too difficult for Edward and Bella to see them laying their lifelessly. Plus, they were told their injuries made them unrecognizable which would only make it harder for everyone.

Bella stayed by the door, greeting people and listening to how sorry they were for her loss. I tried taking over for her, but she told me it kept her mind busy and thats what she needed right now. I sat with Edward most of the day. He and Alice had taken refuge on a couch in the corner, far from the caskets when she got there, and he wasn't saying a word.

That little bit of funny left in him was gone as soon as it came and I feared it would never return.

When I looked up, my parents were standing at the door and Bella was standing by her mothers light green casket. I saw her place her hand over the flag that was draped over it, and I felt tears stinging in my eyes. I took a deep breath before standing up and walking over to her. She was crying by the time I reached her and I placed my hand gently on her shoulder.

"When my Grandma Swan died, my mom told me that the heavens gained a star," She whispered as she continued to look down. "But, ever since we got the news, it's been cloudy every night." She said, finally looking up with tear filled eyes. "I haven't seen their stars yet, Jasper. It scares me."

"They're there." I nodded. "The darkness has to clear before the light can shine."

"That was poetic," She smiled finally.

"My mom told me that a long time ago." I mused, thinking back to when a bad storm hit Forks. The power was out for days and it rained for a week straight. Rosalie and I were young, and I didn't understand why it was so dark all the time. "Remember that storm when you were...I don't know five?"

"When the power was out for what seemed like forever?" She asked and I nodded. "What about it?"

"My mom told me that when I asked why it was so dark." I explained. "And you know what happened?"

"What?"

"It stopped raining and the sun finally shined the next day." I whispered in her ear, and I could see goosebumps all up and down her neck. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the goosebumps, but I already knew they were there.

This was not the right time to be thinking of something like that, but I could tell how much she wanted me. I would never push her, but I wanted to be with her.

It had to have been the longest day of my life. It was a constant go, go, go without a break until we went to a quick dinner at an Applebees not far from the funeral home. And, after the second viewing, everyone was drained. Bella fell asleep on my shoulder on the ride home and instead of waking her up since she was finally sleeping, something she'd been refusing to do most of the week, I carried her inside.

I gently laid her down on her bed and pushed some of her hair out of her face, taking in how beautiful she was. She was a girl who didn't need to do much to look beautiful, but I loved when she would do her hair or put makeup on. It was nothing special, but it added to her natural beauty. If you didn't know her as well, you would never really know she was wearing any.

* * *

The eight of us stood quietly by their graves the next morning. The service was beautiful and there wasn't a dry eye in the house by the time Edward was done speaking. He was the only person brave enough out of all of to say something and when he got down off of stage, I had to hug him. That took guts and I had a new respect for him.

Bella bent down and gently placed a rose on top of each casket and just stayed there until the cemetery director told us it was time to lower them into the ground. It was difficult to pull Bella away, and it took Emmett, Dad, and I to get her into the car since she was fighting so hard to go back, but I didn't think she was strong enough to watch them finally be buried.

When we got back home, the caterers for the wake were all set and everything was spotless. People started arriving shortly after and it was just another round of apologies and condolences. I hated this. People were saying they knew how we felt. No they didn't. No matter how close they were to Renee and Charlie, no one actually knew how any of us felt. And, more importantly, how Edward and Bella felt.

They'd never had a family dinner again. Edward wouldn't be able to graduate with his parents in the stands. Charlie wouldn't walk Bella down the aisle. And, when I thought of her walking down that aisle alone, I broke down into tears. I had tried so hard to keep it together for my friends sake, but I just couldn't. The tears started flowing again and once they started, I couldn't get them to stop.

I found a chair in the corner of the living room and collasped into it, burying my head in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I felt a small hand tap my shoulder and when I looked up, Bella was standing there with a tissue in her hand, holding it out for me. I gave her a weak smile before taking it from her and dabbing my eyes with it.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"You...you don't have to be strong for me." She whispered as she leaned over and rested her hands on the chairs armrest.

"Someone has to be," I shrugged.

"But, who's being strong for you?" She asked before walking over to where Chloe and Ben were standing.


	6. Ask Anything

**Chapter Five: Ask Anything**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

A week after the funeral, Edward and I were heading back to school. And, honestly I couldn't have cared less. I didn't want to be around people anymore. I was never a people person to begin with, and now all I really wanted to do was tell people how dumb they really were and get rid of all the morons in my school.

"You look nice," Edward told me as he walked into my room as we were getting ready to leave. I turned and tried to smile at him, but smiling was something I just couldn't really do anymore. "Mom and Dad would want us to move on with our lives, Bella."

"I know," I nodded, taking a deep breath so I wouldn't burst into tears. "Its just that's easier said than done."

"Yeah, it is." He nodded.

"How are you so okay? I mean I'm on the verge of tears every moment of everyday and ever since their funereal you've been almost...normal."

"It's not that I'm okay," He shook his head. "It's just if I think about it too much, I know I'll never get out of bed. I won't stop crying. I'll be a bump on the log for who knows how long."

"So..."

"I'm handling it my way," He nodded. "But, I do want you to know that I'm a mess inside and I'm not just...okay with this. I don't want you think I'm som emotionless ass."

"I never thought that," I smiled at him as he came over and gently wrapped his arms around me. I took a few big breaths to keep myself from crying and it actually worked. I was able to keep his shirt dry. There was a soft knock on the door and I looked up to see Rosalie standing there.

"You guys ready?" She asked and we pulled apart. "Bella, where did you get that...shirt and shoes?" She laughed.

"I needed a distraction so I wanted to look nice and everything in my closet is so boring and Bella." I told her quickly, afraid she was going to be really pissed.

"It looks good on you," She giggled as she grabbed her bag and went outside to the car. I went and grabbed my toast and coffee from Linda and went out to the garage. Jasper was standing right in front of my door and we had one of those cliche he moved where I moved moments until he just stepped aside to let me get into the car.

When we got to school, Edward raced to meet Alice and Rosalie and Jasper met Felix inside like always. I was left alone for the first time since we found out and I didn't know what to do with myself. I walked inside and went to my locker, hoping Angela or someone would get here quickly. But, when I opened my locker, I broke down.

I was face to face with a picture of my parents at their twentieth anniversary party at the beginning of July with Edward and I on either side of them. I gently touched the picture, hoping it would become real, but when I found that it was only a photo again, I lost it. Tears starting gushing out of my eyes and I could feel myself shaking as I leaned against the lockers for support.

I felt a had grasp onto my elbow, I looked up, thinking it was Ben or Mike. But, instead I found Jasper there, looking very concerned for me.

"Hey, come on," He whispered, tugging on my arm to get me to go somewhere. But, my legs felt like jelly and I couldn't move. Instead of walking with him, I slid down the lockers and onto the gross hallway floor. I saw him look around, probably for Edward, before bending down. "Bella,"

"Just go," I cried as I hid my face in my hair. I felt his one arm hitch under my legs while the other one came around my neck. He stood up and I was in his arms like I was his bride or something. I could feel people staring at us, but I just didn't care anymore. I buried my face in his shoulder like I'd been doing since I heard the news and he carried me outside and into his car.

He gently set me down in the passenger seat and got into the drivers side. But, he didn't start the car. He let me cry it out, even though he was going to be late for school since the first bell rang while we were sitting out here.

"What do you wanna do, Bella?" He asked softly as he pushed hair out of my face. "Do you wanna go to school or go home?"

"Home," I whispered as I pulled away from him and I heard hi start the car. We drove home in silence, but when we got there, I felt bad for making him miss school for me. "You should go, you're already really late."

"I'm good, Bells." He smiled. "I don't want you to be home alone."

"I'm a big girl, Jasper." I huffed. "I don't need a babysitter."

"I just don't want you to be alone, I didn't say you needed someone to take care of you." He told me back. Without another word, I grabbed my bag and stormed into the house. Both Carlisle and Esme were working and I didn't want to be found by Jasper. So, I snuck into Carlisle's home office and gently shut the door.

This was probably the only room in the house I'd never been in before. I felt bad for being where I didn't belong, but Jasper had me all confused with what he told me before finding out about my parents death and I ddin't know how to be around him. Did I trust him? Pretend like he didn't say anything? Did I take a leap of faith? I had no freaking clue.

But, whether or not he confused me with his feelings, mine were still there. I still had a crush on him. I still thought he was cute. I still had dreams about us being together. I knew how I felt, but I just couldn't trust what he was telling me.

I looked up at the wall of photos Carlisle had hung on the wall. Pictures of him and Esme very young, pictures of their wedding and Esme pregnant with Jasper and Rosalie. Pictures of the four of them. We always had photo's hanging in our house, but it was nothing like this. As I looked closer, I found a picture of Jasper with someone who wasn't Rosalie.

It was me. Jasper was holding me in his arms, smiling down at me, and just...looking at me with those beautiful eyes. We looked to be about thirteen and eleven and I smiled at the memory. We'd taken a joint family vacation every year down to Santa Barbra. The two of us were on the beach, holding boogie boards in our arms. I was looking to the camera without a care in the world, and Jasper was looking down at me as he hugged me with his free arm.

"That was one of the first moments I thought of you as more than Edward's little sister," I heard him say from the doorway. I turned to see him leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed, looking fine as hell. "You were scared shitless to go into the water and boogie board."

"Oh yeah, that was the first time I ever did that," I mused, looking down at the picture.

"I kept pushing and pushing and finally, you agreed to shut me up." He laughed and I did remember saying those exact words. "Once we were in the water, you kept losing the board and going under since you were still pretty small and the waves were a lot more powerful." He explained. "You were about to give up, but I begged you to try one more wave and you agreed."

"And?" I asked with a small laugh.

"And, one big ass wave came and you held on for dear life...and you made it all the way to the shore line." He told me. "I didn't even make it, I fell off halfway through."

"Loser." I teased.

"But, once I finally got to you after my dad had high fived you and crap, you wrapped your arms so tightly around me..." He said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You looked up me and looked so proud of yourself and I looked into your eyes and...maybe it was just gas...but I couldn't help but just smile at you."

"Jasper, you were only thirteen."

"Technically, twelve." He laughed. "That was two weeks before our birthdays." He corrected. "Anyway, maybe you're right. Maybe I was only twelve and it was gas. But that look in that picture is genuine, Bella."

"Jasper, I'm sorry." I said, putting my arm out to keep him away. "But I already told you, I can't trust you."

"But, you can." He argued. "I know you feel something else for me."

"Jasper."

"You've already admitted it to yourself."

"Yeah, having a crush on you and having something actually happening between us are two very different things." I argued. "Lets just keep this simple."

"I'll do whatever you want so you'll trust me."

"Lets say something does happen and I can trust you and we do become...something more." I sighed. "What happens when Edward finds out? He doesn't trust you and he knows way more than I do. He'll kill you."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"No, it isn't." I sighed. "Edward comes first. Bros before hoes, remember?"

"You aren't some random girl though, Bella."

"You're right." I nodded. "I'm your best friends little sister." I sighed as I pushed passed him and went upstairs to my room.

* * *

The next few weeks seemed to drag on. Going to school was pointless. I'd go for a while and sometime before the day was over, I'd have a breakdown of some sorts. Either I was bawling in the bathroom, and staring into space. And, it didn't help that Jasper didn't try and pursue anything. I knew it wouldn't work out, but I thought with everything he said, he'd fight for me.

But, he didn't fight.

He went on living his life. He hung out with his friends, flirted with pretty girls, applied for college. But, there wasn't a day that passed where I didn't catch him staring at me. I wanted to believe him. I wanted my dreams to come true, have him be my first boyfriend, first kiss. But, there was something inside of me that knew I couldn't trust him. He'd had too many one night stands and said too many things to give me a reason to trust him.

But, there was another part of me where I just wanted to let all that go and run into his arms. I wanted to be that first girl of his that lasted for more than ten minutes at a time. I wanted to walk down the hall, hand in hand and have people look at us and ask themselves...'what's Jasper doing with Bella?'

But, something deep inside me was warning me and I couldn't be with him. Not yet. Not ever.

Finally, we were off of school for Thanksgiving break and I was dreading the upcoming holiday. I never found it special, it was an excuse to eat a lot of food and to drink a lot of alcohol. But, mom loved it and I was always up bright and early in the morning to help her make the big dinner, even though only four of us ate it most of the time.

The Cullen's usually made a trip to Florida to be with Carlisle's parents but since Edward and I were now theirs, they decided to skip the trip and stay in Forks for us. I felt horrible. It was really one of the only times Jasper and Rosalie saw their grandparents and they were skipping it because poor little Bella and Edward were orphans.

But, no one showed that they were upset by it. Esme kept Rosalie and I busy with preparations and for Wednesday afternoon, all was good with the world. However, when I woke up on Thursday morning, I felt absolutely disgusting and rushed to the bathroom and barely opened the toilet in time to throw up in it.

When I was done, I flushed the toilet, but didn't stand up. I let the tears come because apparently all I could do anymore was cry and look like an idiot.

"Bella?" I heard Jasper ask on the other side of the door. I quickly put the seat down and stood up and grabbed my tooth brush and started brushing my teeth.

"You can come in," I said with a mouthful of toothpaste. It wasn't easy being around him so I figured looking gross would help keep him at arms length.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking concerned. "I heard you throwing up."

"You heard that?" I asked as I filled the paper cup with water to rinse. "Sorry," I whispered before I swished the water around and spit.

"It's okay," He smiled as he came over and put his hand on my forehead. "Jesus, Bella, you're burning up."

"I...I feel fine." I lied. I felt like I was going to puke again, but I didn't want to throw up in front of Jasper.

"Well, you're pale and you threw up and you have a fever." He pointed out. "I think you have gastroenteritis."

"Huh?" I asked with a small laugh.

"The stomach flu." He told me. "Come on, lets get you back to your room." He whispered as he took my hand and walked me back to my bed. He gently laid me down and pulled the covers over top of me before leaving the room. He came back with a thermometer and stuck it under my tongue before slightly pulling my shirt up.

"What are you doing?" I asked after the thermometer beeped and he took it out of my mouth.

"Checking for swelling," He told me as he looked down. "Congrats, you have a fever of one hundred and one degrees." He giggled.

"How do you know all this stuff?" I asked. "I mean, I know you live with the best doctor in Washington, but I lived with the best police chief in Forks and I couldn't tell you anything about the people he works with other than they're bad people."

"I wanna be a doctor," He told me. "A pediatrician to be exact." He smiled as he walked out of my room. A few seconds later, he returned with a bottle of water, a cold wash cloth, and a bucket for me. I gave him a weak smile as he set the bucket on the ground next to my bed and gently placed the cold wash cloth on my forehead.

"I thought you wanted to be an astronaut?" I laughed since him and Edward were constantly pretending they were in space.

"I did," He nodded. "But, I wanna help people...especially little kids."

"Wow," I whispered as I looked up and saw the next Dr. Benjamin Spock. It sounded horrible, but I always thought he was just average. He never came home and bragged about a good grade, and he seemed to just breeze by in school. But, maybe he was breezing through because it wasn't hard enough for him.

"So, what do you suggest...Dr. Cullen?" I giggled.

"Stay in bed, drink lots of water." He whispered. "You'll be fine in a few days...just make sure you're drinking. I don't want you to dehydrate."

"Okay," I nodded as he stood up and walked over to my door. He stood there for a while with his hand on the doorknob before turning around and looking at me. "What?"

"You're not just Edward's little sister." He whispered. "And, you never were." He told me before opening the door and storming out. I did what he told me and stayed in bed while drinking the water he gave me. Carlisle came in shortly after him and confirmed what he told me earlier and I was impressed.

Edward sat with me for most of the day, telling me he hated the holiday now and he wanted to make sure I was okay. We played cards and watched stupid movies like we did when we were little and one of us was sick. For the first time in a long time, we were just brother and sister. Best friends like before he went to school, made new friends and then got a girlfriend. I missed this Edward and I was actually feeling a little grateful for this flu.

After Thanksgiving passed, I started feeling better and Sunday my stomach was actually starting to growl. Esme had taken on being my mother very well and wouldn't leave me alone the entire four days I was in bed. I was thankful her and Carlisle were the ones who were taking care of us now that Mom and Dad were gone because if they hadn't left us to the Cullen's, we would have been on the first plane to New York with our weird aunt whose best friend was a cat named _Kitten_.

"Hey," Jasper whispered as he popped his head through the crack in my door. "You hungry yet?"

"Actually...very." I laughed as he walked in with a a bowel and a sleeve of crackers.

"My dad told me it was best to give you something weak that wouldn't upset your stomach." He told me as he put them down on my bedside table. "So, Mom made you some chicken broth and there are some saltines if your up for them."

"Thanks," I whispered as I reached over and grabbed the bowel. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?" He asked as he turned back around.

"Why me?" I asked. "I mean, why choose to have feelings for me...of all people?"

"Bella,"

"No, really." I stopped him. "I mean, I'm nothing special. I'm average and I know that. I'm okay with that...looking good is too much work." I laughed. "But, there are a ton of beautiful girls in your grade who aren't Edward's little sister...and you picked me?"

"I didn't pick you based on looks or your age." He told me as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't get me wrong, I think you are beautiful." He smiled, making me blush. "But, you're smart, kind, funny...everything any guy would want in a girl."

"There are pretty, smart, funny girls in your grade." I reminded him. "And again, none of them are Edward's little sister."

"You being Edward's sister has nothing to do with anything...I don't care about that."

"He'd kill you if he found out."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"You'd risk your friendship...for me?"

"If he's really my friend, he'd be supportive and he'd be happy I finally found someone worth being with for more than a few hours one night." He told me. "And if not, he was never really my friend."

"But..."

"If you aren't ready, fine." He sighed. "But I'll wait for you."

"Jasper, really. It's okay, you can find someone that's your age and that Edward wouldn't kill you if he found out."

"I don't want someone my age, Bella." He smiled. "I'll fight for you if I have to."


	7. Wiser and Older

**Chapter Six: Wiser and Older**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"I'll fight for you if I have to." I told her as she sat in bed. Her mouth had shaped into an 'O' shape and she wasn't moving. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was in shock or something.

"Jasper, I..." She started but I cut her off.

"I don't wanna an answer right now." I said. "But, I do want you to know that I want you to choose me. I want you to be the first girl I start a relationship with. The first girl I say I love you to." I whispered. "But, I don't want you to answer because you're afraid and I don't want you to think I'm saying this now because your sick in bed."

"I want to trust you," She told me as I stood up and walked towards the door. "Show me that I can,"

"I will." I told her as I opened the door and left her room. I walked downstairs to where my mom and dad were sitting on the couch together, wrapped in each others arms, looking at some sort of magazine. I went over and broke them apart and sat between them like I did when I was a kid. But, they didn't get mad or tell me to leave, Mom wrapped her arm around me and showed me what they'd been looking at.

"I want to do this to the room in the basement," She said, showing me a picture of what looked like a man cave. "I'm thinking, you and Edward are surrounded my girls all day while your father is working and you two need a get away."

"Mom, this is sick." I laughed. It had a sectional couch, a floor that looked like a football field, two TVs, and way more than Edward and I need. "But, we're going to school in six months."

"I know," She nodded. She never wants to believe that Rosalie, Edward, and I are leaving for college. She doesn't want to accept it and building this is just something to take her mind off of it. "We'll reconvert it for Bella when you leave."

"Mom, keep it the guest room."

"No guest ever uses that room." She said, slamming the magazine shut. "It's in the basement."

"And now we only have one guest room if people come and stay," I told her. "And I don't want Uncle Mike or Dylan to be sleeping in my room while I'm away." I laughed, but she only gave me a sad smile and stood up and walked to the kitchen. I looked over and saw Dad shaking his head at me in disapproval.

"You couldn't have just kept your mouth shut?" He asked.

"And let her waist all that time and money on something we'll barely use?" I asked. "Mom has to accept it...her building that room wouldn't keep us from leaving."

"I know, but now I have to deal with it." He sighed. "Are you coming to the hospital tomorrow?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea, I'm not even out of high school."

"You wouldn't be performing a major heart surgery, son." He chuckled. "You'll be observing Dr. Hall."

'Dr...Dr who?" I asked.

"Dr. Hall, you're in the same class as her daughter." He told me. I hadn't really spoken or seen Georgia since my sixteenth birthday. She told me she wasn't interested in someone who couldn't finish the job right and then she moved on...to every guy she hadn't screwed that went to our high school. I still caught her staring at me and she was always whispering things in my ear, despite her actually finding a guy who was willing to be her boyfriend despite her being a slut.

I wanted Bella and Georgia was not her favorite person.

"That isn't a problem is it?"

"No,"

"Did you mess with her daughter?" He asked angrily. My parents knew me and knew my habits. They'd never been happy with it but told me if I didn't knock a girl up, they didn't care. "Jasper."

"Yes, but it won't be a problem because Dr. Hall is the best pediatric doctor in Forks."

"Yes, she is." He reminded me. "Don't screw this us, Jasper. This internship could make or break your Northwestern acceptance."

"I know, I know." I sighed. "I'll go and put on a good face and do whatever she tells me to do."

"Good boy." He smiled, patting my cheek before going to find my mother.

* * *

Bright and early the next day, Dad had me in dress pants and a tie and out the door. Despite her daughter being a total bitch, I'd heard amazing things about Dr. Hall and the things she's done for kids was truly amazing. She had been working at Boston Children's Hospital but transferred so she could be closer to her family.

"You ready?" Dad asked as we walked through the automatic front doors to the hospital. Forks wasn't a huge town and the hospital was tiny. But, with my father here, the hospital went from being a dud to being one of the best small town hospitals in the entire country.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I sighed as we got into the elevator. Since the town was small, we didn't have a separate hospital for pediatrics. Forks had a wing dedicated to children and had the doctors, but when something went wrong, they were brought here with everyone else.. We stopped at a big wooden door on the top floor and my father gently knocked.

"Come in," A woman said and he turned the knob and led me into her office. She looked just like Georgia. Blond hair, pale skin, blue eyes. Like mother like daughter. "Hello, Carlisle."

"Hi, Janette." He smiled, putting down one of the cups of coffee we'd gotten this morning. "Your usual."

"Don't know what I'd do without your father, Jasper." She giggled as she took a sip. "Perfect."

"Well, I'll leave you to it." Dad smiled as he turned around. "Behave...and no funny business when Georgia comes around."

_Georgia was going to be here?_

"Well, Jasper...last time I saw you...you were about this high with braces and acne." She laughed as she stood up and came around her desk. "How've you been?"

"Pretty good, I can't complain."

"I'm sorry about Mr. and Mrs. Swan." She whispered. We were getting that line as much as Bella and Edward were. "If you ever need anything, you can always talk to me." She smiled. "That's what mentors are for."

"Yes, I supposed that's true."

"I see that father of yours has got you all dressed up." She laughed as I looked down and saw her in a pair of pink scrubs. "Do you want to change into some scrubs?"

"Sure," I smiled and she went over to a cabinet and grabbed me a pair of light blue ones. I went into a nearby bathroom and changed, but when I came back, there was a blonde girl in the room and I knew in an instant who it was. She turned around and smirked at me before her mother clapped her hands.

"I have someone I'd like you both to meet." She said as she grabbed her lab coat and walked passed me, out the door. We walked down the hall to a private room with a little girl in the bed. "This, is Penelope. Penelope, this is Georgia and Jasper. They're going to help me look after you today. Is that okay?"

"Yes," She giggled.

"How old is she?" I asked.

"She's eight." She told us, looking down at the beautiful little girl playing with her Barbie dolls. "Penelope has COA, do you know what that is?" She asked, looking at me and only me. "Georgia?"

"COA is Coarctation of the Aorta." I told her, smiling at Georgia smugly. "Which means her aorta is narrow, making it hard for blood to pump through it easily."

"Good job, Jasper. You've done your homework." She smiled. "Do you know how we would treat it?"

"No Dr. Hall, I do not."

"You can remove the narrow part and reconnect the two good halves." Georgia said. "Or you can do a balloon dilation."

"Good, Georgia." She smiled. "Penelope was brought in last night. Her father has told us that she was having difficulty breathing, a sign of COA in children." She explained. "Jasper, I'd like you to keep an eye on her until I get back."

"When will that be?" I asked. I wasn't a doctor. I wasn't even out of high school, I wasn't ready to be left alone with a patient.

"Jasper, you'll be fine." She whispered. "She's on a breathing tube and if anything serious happens, I'll be right down the hall."

"Dr. Hall..."

"I'll be right down the hall if you need me." She nodded as she closed the door behind her, leaving me with Penelope and her father.

"This is Tia." She smiled at me, holding up one of her Barbie dolls. "She thinks your cute."

"Well, she's pretty." I smiled as I looked at her father. "How long have you known about this?"

"About two months," He sighed. "We've been keeping an eye on it, and she's scheduled to be taken to Seattle for the surgery." He explained. "How old are you? Are you even a doctor?"

"No, sir I'm not." I told him. "I'm going to school for premed. I want to be a pediatrician."

"I can tell, you're going to be a good one." He smiled, making me feel like I was on top of the world.

After a long day, it was the only time I questioned my future. I was exhausted. Dr. Hall had Georgia and I running in every direction and it was a constant go all day. No wonder my father looked like death when he came home sometimes. Since he was working a later shift, I was left with the car and he told me he'd find a ride from someone else.

When I left, it was raining and I held my backpack up over my head to try and not get soaked. I finally reached the car, but when I turned around, Georgia was standing on the curb, without anything to keep her dry and looking alone. I wanted to leave her there, but even I wasn't that heartless.

I got in the car and drove over to where she was standing and rolled down the window. I could see her starting to shiver and I really wish Bella hadn't been turning me into a better person. The Jasper who didn't have strong feelings for Bella would have driven away.

"Do you need a ride?" I sighed after getting her attention.

"No, Finn should be here any minute." She told me, rolling her eyes. I looked around and saw no beat up, old pick up and turned back to her.

"Look, it's freezing and you're going to get yourself sick." I mumbled. "Get in the car and let me ride you home." I spat and she reluctantly reached for the door handle and got inside. I turned the heat up for her and draped an old blanket from the backseat over her shoulders.

"Finn probably just got held up at work." She whispered. "It's no big deal."

"I really don't care." I sighed as I turned out of the parking lot.

"He's a busy guy."

"Georgia, wake up." I spat. "He works at a fast food place, has all CP classes and he's a wrestler...he isn't that busy." I told her. "And, if he really did get held up at his little job, he couldn't have let you know instead of leaving you standing out there."

"Finn's a good guy."

"No he isn't." I sighed. "You two were meant for each other."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You like having sex with a lot of people."

"Hey!"

"It's true," I told her.

"Okay, so I like sex." She told me. "And so does he, but we have amazing sex."

"Good to know."

"He doesn't have to cheat on me." She whispered as she looked down. Everyone but her knew he was still messing around with any girl he could get his hands on, but no one had the guts to say something to her. I felt bad for her, but bad people deserved things like this to happen. "He doesn't cheat on me."

"Whatever you say, Georgia." I whispered as I pulled into her driveway.

"I'm sorry," She whispered as she unbuckled her seat belt. "For dumping you."

"I don't care."

"I know, but I'm still sorry." She shrugged. "You were a good guy."

"Georgia, I don't do relationships."

"Maybe you just haven't found the right person."

"What are you talking about?"

"The sex was good, but that isn't why I wanted it so much." She shrugged. "You were just too horny and dumb to realize I wanted something more."

"But, you dumped me?"

"Because I realized you weren't the guy I thought you were." She said, turning to me. "You really were just a one night stand guy, and I didn't wanna be the girl who begged you to love me. I'm not that desperate." She whispered. "Anyway, thanks for the ride." She said as she got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Georgia had feelings for me? The same Georgia who spent one wonderful night with me, and barely spoke to me after. The Georgia who had sex with everyone I knew except Edward and Emmett and who's never had a relationship until this year. It just didn't make sense. I shook off the shock before I started driving home.

Bella was sitting on the couch with her schoolwork laid out on the coffee table when I got home. She was wearing her cute little glasses for the first time in a while and I couldn't help but smile at her. She really wasn't my type. I liked blondes who wore low cut shirts and mini skirts that showed their asses. But, Bella was everything I wanted and I just hoped she'd let me in at some point.

"Hi," She smiled at me when she looked up. "How'd it go today?"

"Really well," I smiled as I sat down next to her. "Dr. Hall is incredible."

"The scrubs are a good look for you." She giggled. "You should wear those more often."

"Oh, Dad made me dress up this morning and Dr. Hall gave me these so I'd be comfortable." I explained. "What are you up to?"

"Trig," She sighed. "This is impossible."

"You love math,"

"Yeah, but these Euler formulas just aren't working," She told me and I took her book from her lap. Trig was my best subject as a sophomore and we spent the rest of the night working on her homework. There was a lot of laughing, smiling, and flirting. I had a good feeling I was breaking down her walls and she was finally letting me in.

I made her my famous Kraft macaroni for dinner after we were finished and she went back to her homework. She was an overachiever and she never really stopped doing homework. But, she reminded me of myself. No one really knew it, they thought I was the popular guy who had a lot of sex and played baseball and soccer. But, the truth was I was top of my class and had the top SAT scores in town. I was smart, and I was going places.

I just didn't like showing it very much.

* * *

The three weeks leading up to Christmas were horrible. With midterms approaching, Bella was always locked in her room or the study or at the library and I never saw her. I wanted her to let me fight for her, but it just wasn't working when I couldn't even get within three feet of her. I was glad she was so dedicated, but I missed her.

But, the times we did get to be together were amazing. She was the polar opposite of what I thought I wanted. I thought I'd never get these feelings or look at a girl the way I looked at Bella. And, thankfully, Edward was just as focused as Bella was so he didn't have time to ask me questions about my love life or anything like that like he always did.

Things were almost normal again. Bella and Edward were coping a lot better than anyone would have thought. My parents officially adopted them and we were a family. And the little time I spent with Bella I had a good feeling she was slowly letting me in.

Things were good.

"Have fun today." Bella smiled the Saturday morning before midterms started as I left with my dad for another day of observing and shadowing. I hadn't spoken to Bella since the November session, but from the looks of it, her and Finn were over and I wasn't prepared to put up with a miserable teenage girl today.

"Penelope is still here?" I asked when I walked by her room with Dr. Hall and saw her laying in the bed. "Is she okay?"

"No," Dr. Hall whispered as we walked into her office. "No she's not."

"What's wrong?"

"When they went in for her surgery last month, they found she did not have COA. She has Coronary Heart Disease."

"What?" I asked. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She's on the transplant list." She sighed. "We're working as fast as we can to get that little girl a new heart, but there are hundreds of people in front of her, Jasper."

"Is she going to die?" I asked.

"We don't know." She shrugged. "Right now our job is to do everything we can to make sure she stays alive and to keep her comfortable. She's eight, she should be running around with her friends."

The day seemed to drag on forever. The last time I was here, Penelope was going in for a routine surgery and now she needed a new heart. Dr. Hall was right, she should be playing with her friends, not laying in the hospital. When I got into my car, I couldn't help the tears that started forming in my eyes and I rest my head on the steering wheel. I had almost stopped crying when I heard a light tap on the window.

"Georgia?" I asked as I rolled down the window.

"You okay?" She asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "You don't look so good."

"Fine,"

"Penelope's going to be okay," She tried telling me. "They're working as fast as possible to get her the heart."

"Georgia, I don't need you telling me what they're doing." I snapped. "I'm fine, now leave."

"Whatever." She sighed as she turned, but without thinking, I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the jeep and crashed my lips into hers. "What...are you doing?"

"Shut up." I growled as I opened the door and pulled her in the backseat with me.


	8. One More Step

**Chapter Seven: One More Step**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So, you're really doing this?" Chloe asked excitedly as her and Angela sat with me while I tried picking out an outfit. Jasper had been trying really hard to win me over, and he'd finally done it. I was finally breaking down my walls and letting him in.

"Yeah, I am." I nearly squealed. I had no idea what he'd done to me. I had never been this girl who squealed over a guy and spent an hour in front of the mirror, holding up different tops and dresses to try and impress a guy. But then, no one had ever fought for me before. No guy had ever treated me like Jasper and even though I was scared to death, I was ready for this.

"Definatly that sweater." Angela told me. "With this scarf." She said as she pulled a baby blue scarf out of my closet. I looked at it and smiled, remembering when my mom took me shopping before high school started and insisted I buy the scarf. I'd never worn it because I was never one to be bothered with things like that, but I grabbed it from her hands and tied it around my neck.

"So?" I asked after I pulled my jeans up and my converse on.

"Good outfit, but you need different shoes." Chloe told me.

"My TOMS?" I asked, looking down at my feet.

"Nope, these." I heard Rosalie laugh from the door. I turned and saw her holding up a pair of chestnut colorer boots in her hands. I smiled as I took them from her and put them on. I turned and looked in the full length mirror and smiled. I felt good about what I was doing and everything I'd been afraid of since my birthday had disappeared. I looked over at Angela, Chloe, and Rosalie and they all nodded at me.

The three of us got a ride over to the hospital from Carlisle when he went to work and when we stood at the hospitals entrance, my leg turned to jello and I couldn't move anymore.

"Bella, this is it." Chloe whispered. "He's for you, stop worrying and march in that hospital."

"Right." I nodded as they pulled me inside. The nurse at the desk looked up and smiled at us and put her pen down. "Is Jasper Cullen still here?" I asked.

"No, Carlisle's son left a half an hour ago." She shook her head after looking in the computer. I looked over at Angela who just shrugged and turned around the leave.

"I'm sure he went to Emmett's or something." Chloe shrugged as I looked in the parking lot. I wasn't really expecting to find his car, but when I did, my knees went to jello again. I turned to them and they just looked at the ground. I walked closer to it and noticed the Northwestern sticker on the back window.

"That's his car." I whispered, trying to hold back tears when I noticed the steamy windows. I went over and put my nose on the glass, trying to see if I could actually see anything and when I did get a better view, I wanted to throw up. Jasper was on top of Georgia hall...sweaty and naked.

"Let's go." I cried as I ran away from the car.

"Bella!" Angela called as I ran into the hospital. I got into the elevator and made my way to Carlisle's office. I didn't even bother knocking, I just stormed in like I was raised in a barn and slammed the door behind me before falling back on it. Carlisle looked up and gave me a sad face before making his way over to me and pulling me into a tight hug.

"I wanna...go...home..." I sobbed into his white lab coat. He just rubbed my back, trying to make me feel better, but it only made me cry harder. That's what Jasper did when he tried making me feel better. After my sobs died down, Carlisle grabbed his keys and we headed outside towards his car. I could see Chloe and Angela yelling at Jasper, but I didn't wanna go anywhere near him so I just got into the car and told him to drive.

"You know you can talk to me...if you need to." Carlisle whispered as we sat in the car outside of the house. "I'm here for you, Bells."

"I know," I nodded and turned to him. "I know you are."

"So, whatever happened...I hope you can trust me enough to tell me." He sighed.

"I...I don't wanna talk about it." I said, wiping away a tear that had fallen and got out of the car. I raced upstairs and changed back into my sweats and into my glasses again, trying to refocus myself. But, I couldn't. Every time I tried to not think about it, I just thought about it harder. I thought about how he told me he'd fight and how he cared about me, but he didn't care about me enough to stay off of Georgia freaking Hall.

Unbelievable.

"Bella!" I heard him yell through the house. I tried to focus on my Government homework, but just hearing his voice made me want to cry again. And I was so tired of crying. "Bella, please." He begged through the door. I held my breath and tried not to move, I didn't want to make any sound.

"Bella, I know I messed up. And, I know it's a lot to ask, but please talk to me." He whispered. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall again. "Please." I got up the nerve to go and open the door and when I did, he really did look guilty. But, it didn't matter because he did this to us and he should feel guilty.

"You said you'd fight for me." I cried. "You told me I could trust you and that you cared about me."

"I do care," He told me. "And, you can trust..."

"No I can't. You couldn't even go a month without having sex with some girl." I reminded him. "You know why I was at the hospital?"

"No,"

"It's because...I was going to tell you that I was in." I cried. "I was going to tell you that I was ready and that I wanted to be with you. And that I could trust you."

"You can."

"You slept with Georgia. I can't ever trust you again, Jasper." I told him, slamming the door in his face and rushing over to my bed as I began sobbing.

* * *

For the first time ever, I was thankful for midterms. I had so much going on I wasn't able to really think about Jasper or what'd happened. I didn't have time for boys anyway. I wanted to be a lawyer, I had to be focused and into my work. I couldn't just be off making out with some guy.

I had to focus.

But then, Friday afternoon came and midterms were over and break was starting. We were off for sixteen days and who knew how often Jasper would actually be home. His house was where all the parties were, where Edward always disappeared to. He'd be home. A lot. And I'd have to see him. There really was no avoiding him.

Ever.

"You're too good for him, Bella." Angela told me as I lay in bed Saturday morning. Or, technically afternoon since it was one o'clock. I was never like this until him. Sure, I was a girl and guys had hurt me before, but I never just laid around. I was always able to pull myself together in a few hours. It had been a week since I'd caught them and I was barely functioning outside of school.

"Yeah, I mean you wanna be a lawyer." Chloe reminded me. "What does he want to do, teach high school baseball or something?"

"He wants to be a doctor." I told them. "He wants to be a pediatrician. He wants to help save kids." I cried. "He's perfect."

"No, prefect guys don't do things like this." Chloe whispered as they both got under the covers on either side of me. They'd never dealt with this either, so they just held me as I cried.

Jasper was the only guy who I didn't just have a crush on. He was the only one I ever wanted to let in, he was the one I wanted to be my first kiss. He'd been there since the day my parents died..hell since my parents found out they had to go back oversea. He'd been there just like everyone else, but he was the only one who didn't lie to me. He told me it'd be okay, but he never told me he knew how it felt or that nothing would go wrong while they were there.

He was brutally honest with me a lot and I liked that about him. But now, I was the girl laying in bed crying over the pretty boy who paid a little bit of attention to her. No one ever paid attention to me before. Not like him.

"Bella?" I heard Edward ask through the door. "Bella, you've been in there all day, are you okay?"

"She's fine!" Chloe called.

"Thanks, Chloe but I wanna hear it from Bella or I'm coming in." He told me and I just couldn't say anything, so I heard the door creek open and his sad sigh when he saw me laying there. "Move, please."

"We'll be downstairs." Angela whispered, giving my hand a squeeze before letting go. Edward climbed into bed where Chloe had been laying and looked at me. We did this a lot when we were younger but as we got older, we weren't as close. He had his friends and I learned how to read. This was the first time in who knows how long that we lay like this together.

"You've been avoiding me for a week." He said as he brushed the hair out of my face. "Bella, what happened."

"Nothing," I lied, trying to turn around so I wasn't looking at him, but he stopped me. "Edward, I'm okay."

"Your cheeks are wet and your eyes are red and puffy. You aren't okay."

"It's just been rough." I shrugged. "With Christmas being so close and mom and dad not here...it's been hard."

"Yes, it has been." He agreed. "But, that isn't what you're upset about."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you better than I know myself." He smiled. "I know when you're happy, sad, frusterated. I know when you have a big test soon because you never wear your contacts." He pointed out. "I know when you have a crush, and when you have a broken heart."

"Edward..."

"And, I know when you're lying." He nodded. "And, you're lying about not having a broken heart." He whispered. "Did...someone do something? Pressure you?"

"No," I whispered. Edward was relentless and he wouldn't leave until I at least told him the half truth. "I just...I liked a guy and I thought he liked me and I...ah...I found him with another...girl...in bed together."

"Oh, Bella."

"Yeah, he told me all this garbage about caring about me and he told me he'd fight for me because I was worth it." I cried as I squeezed my eyes shut. "I guess...that was a bunch of crap."

"He's an idiot for letting you get away." He told me as he pulled my head onto his chest and kissed the top of it. He held me as I cried and for the first time in a long time, I had my brother back. We'd been there for each other through my parents death, but he liked to keep himself locked up or with Alice while he was dealing with things.

Edward fell asleep next to me and I woke up, feeling better than I had all week when I saw he'd stayed with me all day and night. I shook him awake and soon, our beautiful moment was over and I was going to have to wait another ten years until it happened again. I showered and changed into sweats and my glasses before going downstairs.

Rosalie and Emmett were happily laughing on the couch and Edward and Alice were in the kitchen together talking with Esme. For once in my life, the four of them made me sick and I just wished they'd break up. It was awful, but they were just so happy all the freaking time. It was a little sickening.

So, I grabbed a book and retreated to the little alcove in the den and curled up. It was a book I'd read a hundred times, but it always made me feel better.

"Hey sweetie." Carlisle greeted as he came inside after work and kissed the top of my head. "Little Women, good choice."

"You've read it?" I asked.

"Read it?" He laughed. "Quoting it was how I won Esme over." He laughed as he went into the kitchen where the happy people of the world were. I settled back into my book and when I looked out the window next, it was snowing. I loved the snow. It was hard to get away from living in Forks, but when everyone was complaining about it, I was outside enjoying it.

"Here," I heard Jasper whisper. I looked up and saw him looking sad and guilty, holding one of Esme's oversized mugs. I grabbed it from him and focused back on the beautiful snow outside. I heard him sit down in the chair next to the alcove and tried ignoring him, but I just couldn't.

"I love the snow." I whispered as I took a sip of what he'd given me. When I tasted it was hot chocolate, I felt tears in my eyes. "When I was little and it snowed, my mom made it...so much fun. She'd make us special hot chocolate with marsh mellow's and whipped creme and we'd watch the snow falling.

"Then, my dad would leave us to go to work and my mother made him promise to call every half hour so she knew he wasn't dead." I laughed, remembering the phone constantly ringing.

"Did he? Call?" He asked.

"Yeah, even when he was on the scene of something, he made sure to do something so she knew." I told him. "My mom loved looking at it and playing in the snow, but she hated leaving our front yard. She was scared of it." I explained. "Anyway, the next morning after my dad left, she'd suit us up and take us outside."

"I remember, she never let us have Edward when it snowed like that." He laughed.

"Then, after we were soaked to the bone and shivering so hard our teeth could have broken, she took us inside, put us in our bathing suits, and put us in a hot bathtub. Edward and I would pretend it was the pool...she even dug our goggles out sometimes. When we were pruney, she'd get us out, and then cook us something warm like chili or soup...she never made the same thing twice on snow days.

"Then, we'd sit by the fire and eat and wait for Dad to come home. He'd come home and sit with us and pretend like he hadn't been at work." I told him. "Then, he'd shower and do what he needed to while she read us some story in their bed. We always fell asleep and we'd wake up in our own rooms because Dad had carried us to our room...even when we were too big, he'd still carry us."

"That sounds nice," He whispered.

"You slept with Georgia Hall, Jasper." I sighed as I turned to look at him for the first time in a week. "You...you said you'd fight and you had sex with Georgia...in the back of your car in the middle of a parking lot...in the middle of the day."

"I messed up, but it was the first time in weeks...a few months even."

"But, it happened." I snapped. "And that isn't something you can undo, Jasper. You just can't."

"I'll regain your trust."

"You can't." I told him. "You can't and making me hot chocolate and listening to my childhood memories isn't going to help that." I told him before handing him the mug and going upstairs to my room again.

I spent the rest of the night in my room and by the sounds of it, Jasper locked himself in his room too.

"People make mistakes, Bella" I heard Rosalie say as she walked into my room after Emmett had left. "Jasper hasn't had sex in a while, and he had a bad day and messed up."

"Then he should have come home and vented or something." I shrugged.

"Venting only does so much." She whispered. "You broke my brother."

"I broke...your brother?" I asked. "He's the one who said he'd fight and then had sex with someone else."

"If you would have given him a chance from the start..."

"What? He would have cheated on me?" I asked. "Dating him wasn't going to stop him having sex with her...because I'm not having sex with him."

"No one said you were."

"So, no. He would have cheated and that would have made things worse. Much worse."

"Bella,"

"Rosalie, I just wanna be alone right now." I whispered as I held in tears. Thankfully, Rosalie wasn't one to pry so she bowed out and left me alone to cry. Just when I was about to fall asleep, I heard a small tap on my door. When no one came inside, I got up to answer it, but no one was there.

But, the picture of Jasper and I from Carlisle's office was taped to my door, and I tore it down and carried it back to bed with me and held onto it as I fell asleep.


	9. Fight for Now

**Chapter Eight: Fight for Now**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"Dude, are you sure you're okay?" Emmett asked me a few days after Christmas. It had been a weeks since Bella even looked at me, and I was really starting to break. She told me a beautiful story about her parents and the snow, and she hadn't spoken to me since. I missed her.

"I slept with Georgia again." I whispered as I stared out my window at the snow steadily falling.

"And...you're sad about that?" He asked, sounding confused. I hadn't told anyone about my real feelings for Bella. I couldn't tell Edward in a million years, and I had no idea what Emmett would say. He was unpredictable and he was prone to telling Edward things on accident. It always was a real accident, but everything I told him, Edward somehow found out.

"Yep." I sighed. "Lately, I've been like _The Grinch_."

"Okay, this is like the third glass of whiskey, can you just be straight forward right now...it hurts to think." He laughed.

"It always hurts to think you dope." I snickered. "My heart has grown and lately, I'd been having feelings...strong feelings for this one girl."

"You mean...you wanted her for...more than just a one night stand?"

"Exactly."

"Whoa." He laughed. "Deep."

"Yes, it is." I sighed, rolling my eyes at him. Even though Emmett was a big guy, he sure was a lightweight sometimes. "Anyway, I was having a bad day and I slept with Georgia and this girl found out and was heartbroken and she hasn't spoken to me since."

"Who was she?"

"I...I can't say."

"I'm your best friend...of course you can tell me."

"Let's just say, it was someone I wasn't supposed to care about in that way." I sighed, knowing he'd either figure it out right away or never at all. "Anyway, I just miss her."

"Well, how long did she know how you felt?"

"About a month, but this wasn't some random girl." I explained. "She knows me really well and knows how I like to sleep around. She didn't think she could trust me and I had to earn it from me. And, apparently I'd been doing really well because she came to tell me she was ready and wanted me too when she caught Georgia and I in the back seat of my car."

"Damn," He sighed. "Maybe she isn't really worth it."

"She is." I told him. "No matter how many times I try telling myself that because if she was willing to give up that easy, maybe she really isn't worth it. But...she is."

"Dude, are you in love?" He asked, looking at me wide eyed.

"I think..or I was until Georgia got in my head again."

"Dude," Emmett mumbled, shaking his head. The two of us stayed locked in my room for the rest of the night, drinking ourselves to sleep. I hadn't felt this miserable waking up in a long time. It had been a while since I got so drunk I passed out and I remembered why when my head wouldn't stop pounding.

Emmett was still passed out on the floor so I tiptoed around him and made my way to the bathroom for some Asprin. After I stood in the bathroom for a few seconds, I opened the door to go downstairs, and came face to face with Bella. Her breathing was heavy and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

I just wanted to take her in my arms and hold her until the pain went away. I wanted to be able to help like I did when her parents died. But, I couldn't do that anymore. I was the one that made her hurt. I was the one who put those tears in her eyes. I broke her, and there wasn't anything I could do.

"Sorry," She whispered as she stepped aside. I knew trying to talk to her was pointless so I just walked away and turned back as she walked into the bathroom. She looked up as she shut the door and locked eyes with me before slamming the door. I sighed deep, and went downstairs where Rosalie and Edward were already eating breakfast.

"Can I have my boyfriend back tonight, please?" Rosalie laughed as I sat down with them. "You've been hogging him all break."

"I've been having a bad time." I shrugged as Linda handed me a cup of coffee. "Thanks, Linda."

"Well, then cry on Edward's shoulder." Rosalie told me. "Or Bella's even...just let me have my boyfriend."

"Whatever, just take him." I mumbled as I stood up and turned around, almost running into Bella. This whole living with the girl you love thing was starting to get old. I just needed to get away from her, and her living next door to my room wasn't helping anything. She looked up at me and turned to run out of the kitchen faster than I could say anything.

I went upstairs where Emmett was brushing his teeth and slammed my bedroom door shut. Bella wasn't worth all this. I was Jasper Cullen for goodness sake. I could get any girl I wanted and I didn't need some little virgin needing me. I wasn't the boyfriend type and I did not need Bella this badly.

Except, I was a total liar and I needed her more than I thought.

* * *

"Mom, is everything ready for tonight?" Rosalie asked as we sat down for breakfast New Years Eve morning. Every year, Rosalie and I had the best party in town and mom and dad always bowed out and went to their own party so they didn't have to witness anything.

"Yes, Rosalie." She sighed. Of course Mom had everything ready, she was a professional.

"Great." Rosalie squealed. She told me this had to be our best party since it'd be our last New Year's Eve party as high school students. We had to let the new year in with a bang...especially since we were going to be in our graduation year. "Emmett is gonna be here around six..."

"And you told people to be here around eight." I laughed. "I get it, Rose. It's just a party."

"Party?" I heard Bella ask. She always went over one of her friends house and never seemed interested in any of our parties. We invited her to some, but she always said no. But, the way she asked, she sounded hurt we didn't invite her to this one. Maybe I was a bigger douche than I thought.

"Yeah, you and your friends are welcome to come." Rosalie smiled. "I just didn't think you needed to be invited since you..you know lived here now."

"Oh, well we were going to lay in our PJ's and watch movies all night." she shrugged, looking at the floor. "But, thanks."

"You know what? No." I told her, making her actually look up at me. "You aren't going to sit in your PJ's on New Years Eve anymore, Bella. You're sixteen. You're going to party."

"Jasper,"

"He's right. You are sixteen and you can bring your friends." Rosalie nodded. "Please."

"It's gonna be a bunch of seniors."

"Yeah, and a lot of other people from other classes." I pointed out. "I promise you'll have fun."

"You can even raid my closet." Rosalie offered. Bella smiled and nodded her head before rushing back upstairs to do something. Before everything happened with Georgia, I had been planning to kiss Bella at midnight. I wanted it to be special and meaningful, not just something lame in a movie theater or something.

It hurt knowing I wouldn't be kissing her tonight.

Bella spent the rest of the day with Chloe and Angela in Rosalie's room, trying to find something to wear. I wasn't supposed to care or think about it...she wasn't mine and she didn't want me. But, I couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was going to look. Finally, my parents left and Emmett arrived with the kegs and everything else we couldn't keep at the house.

Finally, just after eight Ali and her friends showed up and everything began falling into place. For a while, I was actually able to forget about Bella and just have fun. The two beers were a huge help, but for the most part, it was just like old times. The music was loud while the Dick Clark show was on silent on the big screen downstairs.

As I looked around, I noticed Bella coming down the stairs with her friends behind her and everything didn't matter anymore. She was always breathtaking, but looking at her in one of Rosalie's short, sparkly skirts made the world go still. Her hair was in light curls around her face and for the first time in a while, she was smiling. A genuine Bella smile.

Before I could do anything stupid, Ali pulled me into the middle of the crowd with her and Emmett and took my mind off of Bella. By the time I got out of the middle, Bella was no where in sight and I was grateful for that. I spotted her over by the keg with a cup in her hands and I had a good feeling Edward had no idea she was here.

Before I could go over and stop her from drinking, someone grabbed my elbow and dragged me into the crowd with them. When I turned to see who it was, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Georgia's hands pulling at my shirt as she began dancing.

"Georgia, no." I mumbled, prying her hands off of me. She didn't listen though and turned around and began grinding her ass into my dick. "Georgia!" I shouted, grabbing everyone's attention as the room came to a sudden halt and all eyes were on us now.

"You're causing a scene..." She whispered as people turned back to what they were doing before.

"You need to stop..."

"Come on...I' haven't seen you in weeks." She whispered as she bit her lip. I was in love with Bella, but I was still a guy and that still turned me on for some reason. "Lets go upstairs."

"No."

"Excuse me?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"You heard me." I said bravely, hoping she wouldn't kick me in the balls or something because that would hurt like hell. "Besides, I slept with you twice."

"And?"

"And, I'm over you...I was over you the first time." I shrugged. "I guess a few weeks ago was like...recycling." I told her, and I earned myself a nice slap in the face. I was used to getting hit...hell I'd been hit with a baseball a few times, but man did that slap hurt. She stormed away, causing another scene and leaving me with a red cheek.

I made my way to the bathroom to look at the damage and nearly cringed. Damn, she knew how to slap. I turned around to see Bella in the doorway, holding a wet washcloth for me...biting her lip. But, unlike Georgia, her biting her lip made her look more innocent. Not more like a slut.

"I...I saw." She whispered, handing me the cloth. "I thought you might need this."

"Thanks," I sighed as I took it from her and placed it on my cheek. She turned around to leave, but I couldn't imagine her doing something so stupid like drinking at a party and I had to stop it if I could. "Bella?"

"Yeah?" She asked without turning around.

"Don't...don't drink from that keg." I whispered as I threw the cloth into the sink. "You...shouldn't be getting drunk."

"Why do you care?" She asked, finally turning around and looking at me for the first time in forever. "Where's your...your little one night stand right now? Shouldn't you be worrying about her."

"I don't have a one night stand." I told her. "And I care because...you're Bella."

"And you're Jasper." She shrugged.

"Damn it, Bella!" I yelled. "I messed up...big time. But, just because that happened doesn't mean I don't care." I told her. "Because I do care...maybe more than I should but I care about you and I don't want you doing something stupid."

"Jasper..."

"I saw you near that keg, Bella. I saw you with a cup in your hands." I told her. "Don't follow mine and your brothers example...be a good girl because that's who I fell in love with."

"Love?" She asked in a whisper. I realized what I'd said and looked at the tiled floor immediately before I could see her dagger eyes. "It was a Sprite, Jasper. Not beer."

"Oh," I whispered. I looked up and noticed how close she'd gotten. She was so close I could smell her perfume and see the light sweat on her forehead from being so close to everyone tonight. I could see that sparkle in her eyes that I loved so much and I could feel her breath on mine.

We hadn't been this close since it happened and all I wanted to do was pull her into me and kiss her. I wanted to wrap my hands around her waist and push her up against the bathroom wall. I wanted everything to go away but I knew it was too late. I didn't blame her for hating me, I just really wish she didn't hate me as much.

"I should go." She whispered as she stepped back. "Ben wants to kiss Ang and she wants to kiss him...if I'm not back they won't be within a mile of each other when midnight comes."

"But...they both wanna kiss each other?" I asked with a laugh.

"You were sixteen once." She giggled. "They'll never tell each other and it's up to Chloe and I to make it happen. You aren't a girl...you wouldn't understand." She told me as she walked out of the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw that the redness had subsided and I took a deep breath before going downstairs.

The music had been turned down as the Rockin' New Years Eve show was on every TV in the house like always. There was a half an hour left and for the first time, I had no one to kiss at midnight...not even Georgia since she was already making out with Brad in the corner.

Edward, Rosalie, and I went around giving everyone glasses and pouring champagne for everyone. By the time that was done, there was only five minutes left until midnight. Rosalie and Edward found Ali and Emmett and as I looked around, everyone was standing by someone they were going to kiss. I even saw Ben and Angela pressed up against each other in the middle of the crowd.

"Three minutes!" I heard Emmett called. He was so hammered it was comical. For the first New Years Eve since freshman year, I was steady on my feet and my mind was clear. I guess that's what only having a few beers does to you. I looked around and was surprised to see Bella standing next to me.

"I thought you were on kiss duty?" I asked.

"Mike and Chloe got it." She nodded without turning to me.

"Ten! Nine!" Everyone began to chant. I watched as the ball slowly dropped and smiled. The year we graduate...it was a big deal. "Three! Two! One! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone yelled as glasses clanked together, people. kissed, and people blew in the noise makers. I turned to Bella and gently clanked my glass to hers and took a sip.

In that moment, nothing had happened. We were back to the day I told her I'd wait and fight for her. Georgia wasn't a problem and she hadn't told me that heartbreaking story about her mom and the snow. We were just two people in love with each other.

And, I didn't care if she didn't want it, I did. It was New Years and I was going to have my kiss. I slowly leaned into her and to my surprise, she didn't put her arms out to push me away...she actually began leaning into me. My lips brushed against hers and for the first time, I understood what everyone said about the magic in a first kiss.

Electricity raced through me as I wrapped my hands around her waist and she ran hers through my hair. The room grew quiet and we were the only people there anymore. Too soon though, she pushed me away and looked at me for a moment before her eyes filled with tears and she pushed passed people and ran away.

I wasn't going to let that be our answer. She felt something and I wasn't going to let her lie to me or herself anymore. I put my glass down and chased after her. I found her on the back porch wrapped up in a blanket and I heard her quiet sobbing.

"Bella, please." I whispered.

"Don't you get it?" She yelled as she turned back to me. "It hurts, Jasper! It hurts so fucking much because even after everything you did to me...I still love you! I still care about you!"

"Then what's the problem?" I asked, not understanding where she was coming from now.

"I can't trust you!" She told me. "You slept with someone else!"

"I'd had a bad day, Bella." I whispered. "But, if we had been together I wouldn't have even thought about Georgia...not even for a split second."

"Jasper..."

"I love you, Bella." I whispered as I walked up to her and pushed her hair out of her face. "Nothing is going to change that."

"Jasper," She whispered as I pressed my lips against hers again.


	10. In the Shadow

**Chapter Nine: In the Shadow**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Jasper," I whispered before he kissed me again. I hated him. I hated him for having this power over me. He told me he cared about me and he slept with someone else. I wanted to hate him, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. I just couldn't hate him. Even if we never became anything more, he was still Jasper.

I pushed him away again, just needing to think. Was this the part in the movie where the girl turned around and kissed him again, or was I smart and walked away for good. I got my perfect first kiss, I would be okay with walking away. Except that was a lie and I was going to be the stupid girl from the movie and turn around.

Because it hurt a lot more and took a lot more energy hating him for what happened. I saw it in his eyes he hated doing it and he hated hurting me. I just didn't want either of us to hurt anymore so I was choosing to take a leap and jump because...we all knew I was going to cave eventually.

I turned around and grabbed his neck, pulling him into me. I tightly wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him. Damn, he was a good kisser. But then, the image of him and Georgia together popped into my head, and it was something that would never go away. I pushed him away...again.

"No!" I screeched. "You had sex with her...after you told me you'd wait and fight and shit. It hurts, Jasper."

"Tell me what to do then," He begged. "How can I earn your forgiveness?"

"You can't," I cried and ran back inside to my room. I cried for a little bit before pulling myself together and getting up to change. I could tell the party was starting to clear out downstairs and I figured my friends had already left. I changed out of the sparkly shirt and the shirt Rosalie gave me and changed into my favorite pair of PJ's.

I grabbed a book and crawled back into bed and opened it and for once, I wasn't thinking about Jasper. I was just thinking about Gatsby and Daisy. Just as I was getting to the hotel scene, there was a light knock on the door. I knew it was Jasper, so I just ignored it. He walked in anyway and came inside and sat on the edge of my bed.

"What?" I asked without looking up at him. I saw him reach in his pocket and I saw out of the corner of my eye, a little black box. "What are you doing?"

"Giving you your present." He smiled as he opened it. "It isn't an engagement ring." He laughed. I looked closely It was a simple infinity ring with a few diamonds to make it sparkle. He took it out of the box and handed it to me to look at. Inside, it was engraved with Always. I felt the tears in my eyes as he began talking.

"I bought this long before I even told you I'd fight for you." He whispered. "I bought this for your sixteenth birthday."

"What?" I asked. "Nothing was in the open yet."

"I know...the Always wasn't engraved in it yet." He smiled. "I saw it in the store and I thought it was pretty and I thought it might be nice to have more than one ring to wear."

"I love my grandma's ring."

"I know, but it's always nice to have an extra lying around." He shrugged. "Anyway, I was too chicken to give it to you then and I had the Always engraved after...our talk."

"You can't buy forgiveness, Jasper." I reminded him.

"I know and I'm not trying to." He whispered. "I just wanted to show you that I was serious when I told you everything and I'm not going away so easily. I gave you your space, but I'm not going to just stand back anymore and watch you pass me."

"Jasper,"

"I don't want your forgiveness now...or anytime soon." He said as he stood up. "I just want you to know I'm not going anywhere." He walked out of the room, leaving me with a million thoughts and a ring that had Always engraved on it. It was insane. I shouldn't be falling for this and I shouldn't trust him.

But, he was I liked it or not, I was stuck with him for the rest of my life anyway. Wouldn't it be easier to not hate him and not want to cry every time I saw him? But, every time I saw him, my mind went back to that horrible day. That day I put myself out there and tried to look nice and went to tell him I was ready. The day he shattered everything.

But, maybe he meant what he said when he told me that it was a bad day and if we'd been together, he wouldn't have done anything. It just sucked not being able to find out if he was telling me the truth. I wanted to believe him so much...but it was just too hard.

* * *

I spent the rest of break with Angela and Chloe, trying to figure everything out. We talked what if's, and we argued whether or not he was truly a good guy. We even made a Pro/Con list to help me think I was that desperate. And no matter how anyone swung it, there were always more pro's somehow.

He was smart and ambitious and a good guy and obviously great in bed. He knew how to balance his life and he wanted to be a doctor for kids for goodness sake. He was obviously a good person because it took a special kind of man to want to work with kids for a living.

But, I still didn't know if that made him worth it or not.

So, I decided the only thing I could do was test him. I knew it sounded childish, but I really needed to know. So, the day before school started again, I found him in the den downstairs by the fire, working on homework, and went over to him. I closed his book and sat down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Yes?" He asked with his eyebrows raised.

"I want to trust you," I whispered. "And, I don't want to hurt over you anymore."

"Okay," He nodded.

"So, I'm going to test you."

"Test me?"

"Yes," I giggled. "Go until Valentines Day without sex or kisses or even flirting with someone else."

"No flirting?" He laughed.

"Yes, no flirting." I whispered. "I want this to work, but I have to be able to trust you, Jasper. And this is the only solution I could think of...and I've been thinking for days."

"Okay,"

"Now, I know this may not be ideal for you especially since all the girls you're normally with are much prettier and flirting is just something that come naturally to you and..."

"Bella!" He called, getting my attention again. "I'll do it."

"Really?"

"Yes, you mean more to me than flirting with some girl." He whispered reaching out to grab my hand, but I pulled it away before he could. "And, you're much prettier than any of those girls in our school."

"Okay..." I nodded, trying to grasp the fact that he was agreeing to be without any girls for a month. I thought he'd try to fight me and tell me I was being unreasonable. "Valentines Day."

"Valentines Day." He nodded before going back to his homework.

After that, Jasper and I went back to being normal with each other. I didn't want to cry every time I saw him and he didn't look like a sad little puppy when I looked at him. We were Bella and Jasper. Best friends. I was oddly okay with that because that meant we were getting back to a steady place. It was good to sit together at breakfast and actually talk.

And to my surprise, I didn't catch him gawking at someones ass as they walked by and I didn't see him with a girl pressed against a locker as he flirted with her. In fact, he stayed as far away from girls that weren't his friends as he could and I felt triumphant over that. He was taking this seriously...maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

And to make everything better, he kept leaving me post-its on my mirror in my room or in my textbooks. They weren't anything supper romantic, but they were small little gestures that made my day better. Sometimes it was only good morning beautiful, but starting my day reading that made everything okay again.

"So, it's been three weeks." Chloe reminded me. "You think he really went three weeks without any action?"

"I do," I nodded. "I mean, I haven't seen him checking anyone out or anything he usually does." I shrugged. "I mean, the guys making progress."

"Yeah, you said that last time." Mike scoffed before he went back to eating his sandwich. Once someone hurt any of us, Mike held an eternal grudge against them. It was very sweet, but I wanted my best guy friend to like my potential boyfriend.

"Mike," Angela whispered.

"What?" He asked. "He said she could trust him and he couldn't even go a month with his pants on."

"I know," I nodded. "You don't need to remind me."

"I'm sorry, but I don't like people messing with my girls." He smiled. "You hurt, I hurt."

"How are you still single?" Ben laughed. "You sound more like a girl than Bella does...and she actually has the vagina."

"Hardy har-har." He smirked. "Anyway, are you planning the date or is he?"

"He's the guy," I told him like he should have known that already. "He better be planning it."

"True," Chloe laughed as Jasper walked by and winked at me, making my heart flutter like some love struck teenager. I mean, I guess I was some love struck teenager, but it was absurd I was reacting like that. "One week." She whispered, making me blush a bit.

The week was slow, but on the Wednesday before Valentines Day, there was a pink post-it in my locker with our plans.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue._

_I'm ready for dancing,_

_I hope you are too._

"What's that?" Edward asked as he came up from behind me. I quickly folded the paper and shut my locker before turning to him.

"It's for Ben to ask Ang out for Friday." I lied. "He doesn't know how so Chloe and I are...basically doing it for him."

"That's sweet." He laughed. "You ready to head home?"

"Yep," I nodded as I took a deep breath and followed him outside.

* * *

Jasper and I waited until everyone had already left to leave the house. Rosalie knew, but it was the twin instinct thing and if it hadn't been for that, she wouldn't know. But, I was thankful she did because she let me raid her closet again and I looked good. After pacing my room for a half hour after getting dressed, the doorbell rang.

I rushed downstairs to the door and opened it without looking. I broke into a laugh when I saw Jasper standing there with flowers in his hands and in his red shirt. He was actually kind of precious and I just wished we hadn't lost those two months.

"You're kind of a dork." I giggled as I grabbed a vase and put water into it. "Let me go get my shoes."

"Okay," He whispered as I rushed back upstairs. I put more chap stick on and slid my shoes on before grabbing my bag and coat and going downstairs. "Ready?"

"I'm not a very good dancer...like at all." I reminded him as we went into the garage. "I'm going to step on your feet."

"Eh," He shrugged as he opened the car door for me.

"What if Edward sees us together?"

"He won't," He assured me. "He took Ali to some place here in town."

"We aren't staying in town?" I asked.

"You think there are good places for dancing here in Forks?" He asked as he opened the garage door. "No way."

"Then...where are we going?" I asked as he began driving.

"Just go with it, Bells." He smiled as I looked ahead. I smiled when I saw the Port Angeles sign and just kept my mouth shut. This was his night and for some reason, he wanted to keep everything to himself until the last minute. Finally, we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned wearhouse and stopped the car.

"Seriously, what are we doing tonight, Jasper?" I asked as I he came around and opened my door for me.

"Trust me," He whispered as he took my hand and led me inside. He pushed aside to broken boards and led me deeper inside. It was like some cheesy movie where the guy does something spectacular and you literally here her breath catch. He had the entire place lit by candle and a small round table in the middle.

There were rose petals covering the floor and table and in the corner, I saw a man dressed in a tux smiling at us. I turned to Jasper who only shrugged as he led me to our table. He grabbed the remote that was setting on the table and the room began filling with slow, sweet jazz music.

"I hope this is okay," He whispered as he sat down across from me. I knew he was the real thing because I knew he'd never done this before. And, I knew Edward never did anything like this for Ali so I knew he came up with it himself.

"This is...perfect," I gasped as I grabbed his hand in mine. After a few seconds, the man came up to us and handed us what looked like a menu. There was only one of everything, but he had all my favorites. Even fresh green beans which I knew he hated. "Green beans?"

"You love them for some reason," He shrugged with his soft smile. "Oh, Bella, this is Felix. My dad saved his life when he was your age."

"Hi," I waved.

"He's been trying to repay my father for two years, even though my father keeps denying him so I told him this was his payment."

"Gottcha." I laughed. Felix took the menus again and left us alone. "I can't believe you did this."

"I know I could have just taken you to dinner somewhere and it would have been okay," He stated. "But, I wanted you to know that I am in this and I would do anything for you. I wanted you to know I'd go to the ends of the earth if I had to."

"I know,"

"And I know it isn't an excuse." He started again. "But, I wouldn't have done anything if Penelope hadn't shown up again and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you..."

"We all make mistakes, Jasper." I whispered. "I watched you in school and you were not your usual self, and I don't mean that in a bad way."

"I just want you to know I'm over all of it. The one night stands, the flirting with everyone." He told me. "I'm eighteen...I'm going to college in a few months and I know I don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life. One night stands were okay as a kid, but I'm an adult...it's time I start acting like one."

"I believe you, Jasper." I told him as Felix came out from behind the broken door with plates in his hand. We both dug in and it was actually delicious...but I saw a very classy looking resteraunt next door so I figured it was from there. "Thank you for doing this."

"You said that." He laughed.

"I know, but I know Edward hasn't done something like this for Ali and he's claimed the title King of Romance." I laughed. "It's just...it means a lot to me."

"It means a lot that you're here." He whispered as we locked eyes. I lost my train of thought for a second and went back to the few green beans left on my plate. When I looked over at him, all of his were gone and it was absurd, but it almost made me tear up. He ate something he hated because I loved it.

"So, when is the real party going to start?" I asked after Felix had taken our plates.

"Anytime you want," He laughed as I stood up and walked over to him and took his hands in mine. I helped him up and dragged him into the middle of the empty floor. "Hold that thought," He laughed as he went back to the table and changed the music to something you could dance to better.

"_At Last_," I smiled as he pulled me close to him.

"I here you playing this old jazz all the time in your room," He shrugged as he slowly spun me. "I thought it was suiting."

"It is," I agreed as he dipped me suddenly. "When did you become such a good dancer?" I asked. "I saw you at homecoming last year."

"I was drunk at homecoming." He laughed as we began slowly swaying to the music. "Plus, mom always made me dance with her when I was younger."

"Good move on her part." I whispered as I looked up at him and locked eyes with his.

_You smiled. And then the spell was cast. And here we are in heaven. For you are mine at last._

"Are you?" He asked as the song came to an end.

"Am I what?" I asked as I put my head on his chest as _You Are So Beautiful_ came on.

"Mine at last?" He asked and I could feel his heartbeat picking up.

"I'll let you know in a few more songs." I giggled as he spun me around again.


	11. Taught me Tough

**Chapter Ten: Taught me Tough**

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

"This was absolutely perfect," Bella whispered as I blew the last candle out. It really had been the perfect evening. For hours we just danced and talked and really got to know each other. It was so strange. I'd known her my entire life and yet, I feel like after talking tonight, I never even knew her. Like the fact that she hated snow, but did all those things she told me about just to make her mom happy.

"It really was," I sighed as I helped her put her jacket on. Just when I thought I was in the clear and we could actually start something, she turned to me with tears in her eyes.

"I want to trust you," She cried as she wiped her face. "I want to trust that the only person you'll be kissing is me and the only ass you'll be checking out is mine."

"I thought that's what last month was about?" I asked. "To see if you could trust me."

"It was and I can trust you better," She told me. "I'm scared, Jasper."

"I won't hurt you..."

"Not just about getting hurt," She said. "I'm scared of what this could become. I've never even been kissed until New Years...I'm the naive little girl no one wants." She cried. "No ones ever paid this much attention to me and it scares me."

"Bella?" I whispered. "Are you afraid I'll cheat or you'll fall in love with me?"

"Both," She lied, but even she couldn't pretend what she said was true. "I'm scared of falling in love with you."

"Wanna hear a secret?"

"What?"

"I'm afraid of the same thing." I smiled. "I'm just as new to this as you are."

"No you aren't..."

"Okay, not the physical aspect." I laughed. "But the whole emotional part to a relationship, I've never experienced before either. The last girl I wanted to be with for more than a few hours died before anything could really happen."

"Jazz,"

"Look, I'm all sorts of screwed up," I whispered. "I like sex too much, I never get emotionally attached, I fell for my best friends little sister for God's sake." I told her. "But I'm in this whether I'm afraid or not. I'm in, Bella. All the way."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend if this doesn't work," She shrugged. "The last two months where we didn't talk sucked. You were the only person who could comfort me after losing my parents and I don't want us to lose that bond because other than my four friends, you're the only person I can talk to."

"OKay," I nodded. "Then I promise if this doesn't work out for whatever reason, we will stay friends and we will not lose our special bond."

"Promise?" She asked as she began smiling.

"Promise."

"I don't wanna have sex yet," She blurted out. "I want to wait so if there is a problem with that then we shouldn't even kiss one last time."

"Bells, I was never in this for sex or anything." I assured her. "Don't you get it? I set up a very romantic date with candles and music and dancing for crying out loud." I reminded her. "You think I did any of this for the girls I wanted to have sex with?"

"No, but it would get a lot of girls into bed." She laughed.

"I'm not in this for the sex." I told her again, kissing her forehead. "I'm in this because I care about you a lot."

"You're sure?" she asked.

"Even if we're together for four years and never got past second base, I still won't care." I told her. "Even if this thing lasts until we're ready to get married, I would wait for our wedding night if that's what you needed."

"Wedding night?" She laughed as I pushed the board aside to get back outside.

"You never know," I smiled. "Anything is possible."

The whole ride home, we laughed. We joked and made stupid faces and made fun of people we went to school with. We learned even more about each other and she even admitted that she'd been in grief therapy to help her cope with her parents death. She told me the only other person who knew was my father and that was because she was on their insurance.

I felt so bad for her. I couldn't imagine having parents one day and then be orphaned the next day. My parents made me who I was and if I were to lose that, if would take a lot longer than four months to get back on my feet. But, it also made me extremely proud of Bella for being so strong and being able to get out of bed in the morning.

She was a lot stronger than I thought she was.

I pulled into the driveway and became very sad knowing our first date was over. But, I had a very good feeling this wouldn't be the last so I took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking around to open her door for her. I walked her to the door like my father said a gentleman always does and we stopped in front of it.

"Thanks again," She whispered as she kicked a small stone that was on the porch. "I really did have fun."

"Anytime," I laughed as she pulled her hand away from me.

"Edward's going to be home any minute and..." Before she could tell me anything else, I crashed my lips into hers. I knew she was going to try and fight this and I had to give her reasons not to. She melted into my arms and began running her hands through my hair. Too soon, she pulled back and took a deep breath. She looked flushed and slightly out of breath...I had done my job.

"Thanks again for tonight," She sighed as she quickly unlocked the door and went inside, shutting the door in my face.

* * *

From that point on, I didn't look at anyone but Bella. She was the only person I wanted to look at and I just couldn't understand why it took so long to see her as more than just Edward's little sister. She was so completely amazing. The fact she was able to look past what happened and trust me again blew me away.

I had hoped she would be able to forgive me and look past it, but I never thought she actually would.

But, that's what made Bella special. She was forgiving and she amazed me everyday. It was also surprising how easy it was to be with her. I'd talk to her in the halls sometimes, and Edward just let it go, thinking we were just talking as roommates or friends. Because, we were roommates and she was my best friend.

But, she was also the girl I was in love with.

"Hey," I whispered in her ear as I walked past her at breakfast before school. I kissed the back of her bare neck, I saw the goosebumps going down her back. She looked up and blushed at me before Edward came in and sat down next to her. And then, we were back to just being Jasper and Bella. Friends.

"Shoot," Edward sighed as he looked at his phone as we were getting up to leave.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Ali's car won't start." He told me as he handed Linda his dishes. "I gotta go get her. Bells, you ready?"

"No," She laughed. She still had bed head. She was so cute with bed head. "Why can't you leave when we usually leave when we pick her up?"

"I was going to take a look at it," He shrugged. Ali's family didn't have a ton of money and the money she had from her small clerk job paid for her gas and insurance. She didn't have money to splurge for car problems. "See if I can fix it."

"I'll take you," I offered and Edward thanked me before rushing upstairs to get shoes on. Bella looked at me and just shook her head at me, but I didn't miss the smile on her face. She went upstairs leaving just Linda and I in the kitchen. Linda knew everything about everyone living in this house, but the woman could keep a secret. She found out the day I brought Bella home and hasn't said anything about it.

Not even to Bella and I.

"Jasper?" She asked as I went to leave the room. I turned to her and smirked when I saw the wooden spoon in her hands and the serious look on her face. Like she was about to beat me with it. "I love you, you're like my own child."

"I know, I love you too." I told her.

"But, if you hurt that little girl again, I will beat you with this." She told me, holding out the spoon to make sure I saw it. I gulped as I nodded and turned to run out of the room. Bella's door was open and when I looked in, she was sitting at the vanity, putting make up on.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I walked inside and sat down on her bed.

"My makeup." She told me without looking up.

"Put it down," I sighed as I went over to where she was. She ignored me and reached for another thing of gunk. I reached out and took it out of her hands and she turned to me angrily.

"What are you doing?" She asked. "Give it back!"

"You don't need it, Bells." I whispered. "You're gorgeous."

"Give it, Jazz."

"No." I shook my head. "You don't need this crap on your face."

"But..."

"No." I laughed as I reached for a wet cloth and brought it up to her face. I wiped the little bit of eye shadow and blush she had already put on and gave her the cloth back. "If I see you with more of this on when we get in the car, I'm going to drag you up here and do this again."

"Jasper." She laughed as she looked in the mirror to get what I'd missed off. "Fine, you win. Can I at least wear some blush so I have a little bit of color?"

"That's all." I laughed. "You'll have plenty of time to put this on your face when I leave in August." I laughed, but she didn't think it was funny at all.

"Right," She sighed.

"We have plenty of time until I leave." I told her as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. "We don't have to think about that yet."

"It's just hard." She whispered. "I mean watching Edward go is going to be hard enough, but to lose you too at the same time is just going to be torture." She told me. "And to top it all off, Rosalie's leaving too and I'll be all alone in this house."

"My parents will be here." I joked, and she smiled that time. "I'll be home as much as I can be. And we can Skype and talk on the phone and email." I reminded her. "And you can drive down and I'll drive up on the weekends."

"That all depends on where you go," She reminded me.

"It does." I agreed. "But, we have to believe we can make it through the distance and come out stronger." I whispered as I kissed her shoulder. "Have a little faith."

"It isn't that I don't think we can work long distance," She said as she turned around in my arms and wrapped hers around my neck. "It's just going to be hard going from living with you...to only seeing you occasionally. That's all."

"Well, lets just think about the present for now and we'll cross that bridge when we have to."

"Deal," She smiled as she leaned in and pecked her lips against mine. After a few more minutes together, we grabbed our things and headed down to the car. I put it into drive and grabbed her hand as we pulled out of the driveway and turned to the school. Unfortunately, the school was too close to our house and we had to go back to being the Bella and Jasper everyone knew.

I gave her a quick kiss before getting out of the car and going our separate ways. She walked towards the school where her friends were waiting inside while I walked towards the small senior courtyard on the side of the building. James and Emmett were already throwing the baseball back and forth when I got there as Rosalie and Victoria sat on the sidelines.

"You call that a throw?" I joked to James as I set my bag down and grabbed my glove before walking over to where Emmett was standing. I had no idea why James was even on the team. He was not a team player and I could tell he was board while he was on the field. But, his father almost made it to the major's before his hand got hit with a ball and shattered it, ending his career. He had expectations to live up to.

"Hey, better than you." He snickered. I honestly kind of hated the guy, but Victoria was good friends with Rosalie for some reason and James came with the package. Plus, it was a small school, not many people to pick from to be friends with. "Anyway, I'm done. Come on, babe." He said as he reached his hand out for Victoria to grab.

They dashed off together as I saw Edward's silver Volvo pull into the lot. I couldn't help but be jealous as I saw them holding hands as they walked towards us, giving each other that loving look. I wanted that with Bella. I wanted to be with her in public without fear of Edward catching us. But, we both knew what would happen if Edward were to find out and we weren't willing to risk what we had. I was breaking one of the top _BRO CODES_. The only thing worse would be me dating Ali after they broke up.

After ten more minutes, the bell rang and it was time to go into school. It was back to classes and I didn't see Bella until lunch. I could see her laughing with her friends and looking up every now and then, her cheeks turning red when she caught me looking. Rosalie was able to keep Edward busy so I could just gawk at his sister and I was thankful she knew. She was the only person I trusted enough to say anything to and I knew if I asked her, she'd take this secret to the grave.

* * *

"So, the hotel's number is on the fridge and you have our cell numbers." My mother reminded us as they got ready to leave. It was their twenty-second anniversary and my father was taking her down to San Francisco where they met for the first time. My parents were like Cinderella and Prince Charming. And man did he treat her like a princess.

"Yes, mom." Rosalie laughed as she hugged her tight. "We're adults, we can handle a few days without mommy and daddy here."

"We know," Dad nodded. "But, if you throw any wild parties...we'll know."

"Parents intuition?" I asked.

"No, Linda is to give a full report when we call every night." Mom told me and I knew she wasn't kidding my the look on her face. "Now, please be good and get to school on time."

"You two aren't here most days when we go to school anyway." Bella laughed as she came down the stairs. She hugged my parents tightly before they got in the car to get going. Once they were out of sight, Edward told us he was going to Ali's and Rosalie was locked in her room with a project for the night.

Bella and I were basically alone.

"Wow," She whispered as we walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. I put my arm around her shoulders as she snuggled closer to me. "We haven't been alone in two months."

"Has it been two months already?" I asked. I couldn't believe it was already the middle of April. Time really did fly when you were having fun. Baseball season was coming to an end, the end of the year activities were coming up, and prom was being planned. I hated that I couldn't take Bella, but it was just a bad idea all around.

"Yep," She laughed. "So, when's prom?" She asked as she turned to me.

"Friday of Memorial Day weekend." I whispered. "Why?"

"Well, finding a dress isn't easy and I don't exactly have a great body for dresses like that." She shrugged as she untangled herself from my grip. "And, I...should start looking now."

"Bella," I sighed. I didn't think we were going to need to have this talk. "I...I can't take you to prom."

"Why not?" She asked, sounding heart broken. "I'm your girlfriend."

"I know and I want to but we can't even sit close to each other on the couch when we're at home." I reminded her. "Edward would never understand and we agreed to keep this from him."

"Yeah, but..."

"And, I asked Charlotte already." I whispered. Charlotte was like Rosalie's Edward. Our mom's knew each other when they were pregnant and we grew up with her. Unfortunately, her father got an amazing job down in San Diego and they moved before high school started. We saw them as much as we could, but it still wasn't very often. Plus, she still had friends up here she didn't see very much and I would never be able to see her as more than just Charlotte. Bella knew this and I was hoping she would understand.

"You asked another girl to prom?" She asked, standing up.

"Bella, it's Charlotte." I reminded her. "I mean, she lived here and I've never seen her as more than a friend."

"But I'm your girlfriend!"

"Do you want to be caught?" I asked.

"Do whatever you want to, Jasper." SHe huffed as she turned to go upstairs. "God knows you'll do it either way."

"Bella!" I called as she raced up the stairs.


	12. Guess It's Right

**Chapter Eleven: Guess It's Right**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I couldn't believe he'd asked another girl to go to prom with him. And, he didn't even talk about it with me. He just went ahead and asked her and now he was going to his senior prom with someone who wasn't me. Someone who wasn't his girlfriend. I knew I sounded childish and I knew he did it for the right reasons, but he could have at least talked to me about it before going and asking her.

After pacing around in my room for a while, I grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. I turned the water on scolding hot and got undressed and jumped it. The water was so hot it burned my skin, but I just didn't care anymore. It hurt so much knowing he couldn't just be mine. I had to sneak around behind my own brother's back to be with a guy I loved.

But, Edward would never understand and I wasn't going to wait around for someone else to come around. I loved him and I wasn't letting him pass me by.

"Ass," I mumbled as I stood under the water.

"What was that?" I heard someone ask, making me jump. I wiped off the steamed glass and saw Jasper standing there in just his boxers.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I scolded as I covered my chest and turned around. We'd barely made out before and now he was looking at me naked. "And I said you're an ass." I told him as the door to the shower opened and he got in, standing behind me.

"Ouch, Bella." He sighed as he reached and turned the heat down. "are you trying to burn yourself?"

"Get out of my shower, Jasper." I yelled as I elbowed him in the stomach.

"Not until you listen to me."

"Fine, you have three minutes."

"I promised Charlotte before she moved I'd take her to senior prom like she'd been dreaming of since her mother told her what prom was when we were in the third grade." He told me as he rubbed my back. "And, we made the plans at my birthday this year. I can't let her down, Bella."

"You could have led with that!" I yelled as I turned around and gently slapped him in the face. "Now you made me feel bad."

"I was getting there when you stormed away." He whispered as I realized we were both naked and turned back around again so he wouldn't see me and I couldn't see any of him. "Believe me when I say I want to take you to prom. I really, really do. But, Edward would kill me and Charlotte would be heartbroken if I bailed on her."

"I'm sorry," I sighed as he pushed my hair off of my neck and kissed my shoulder. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

"It's okay, I'd be pissed too if you told me you already had a date to your prom." He giggled as he kissed the back of my neck, sending chills down my spine despite the hot water. I had a feeling where this was going, and I wasn't ready. But, when he gently placed his rough hands on my bare stomach, I forgot about everything.

I turned around in his arms and crashed my lips into his, forgetting all about being naked and in the shower with him. He pushed me back into the wall, making my head spin as he began to gently grind his hardening member into my stomach. As his hand reached for my boob, however, I knew this was going too fast and I pushed him away.

"I can't," I whispered as I turned the shower off. "Not yet," I said as I began to shiver. He opened the door and grabbed my towel for me and wrapped me in it, kissing my cheek as he did so.

"I know," He smiled. "It's okay."

"Yeah, but what about..." I started to ask as I pointed to his cock.

"I'll be fine," He laughed as he grabbed another towel and wrapped it around himself.

"I can make us dinner," I offered as I stepped out of the tub and he followed.

"Yeah...I'll be down in a few minutes." He blushed as he walked out of the bathroom and went towards his room. I threw some sweats on and went downstairs to see what Linda had left us for the weekend. It was chicken and red potato's and everything we needed for a salad.

Just as I was cutting the tomato's for the salad, Jasper came downstairs and started helping me without even being asked. He threw the chicken on the grill as I boiled the water for the potato's. It was so weird how in sync we were. I mean, I didn't even have to ask him to peal the potato's or clean the lettuce. He just did it and we worked very well together.

While he was getting the chicken off of the grill, I set the table and lit some old candles I found in the bureau. He came inside and couldn't hide his laugh as he dished out everything for us. He poured us grape juice in wine glasses since Esme would know what was gone and how much was gone out of her wine collection downstairs.

"To...alone time." He laughed as we clanked out glasses together.

"How would you do it?" I asked and he gave me a confused look. "As me to prom."

"Well, I would get a ton of candles and set them up so they spelled 'PROM?' and place rose petals all around that." He told me. "And then, I would have a romantic dinner with you before taking you onto the back porch to just sit with me."

"And?" I asked.

"And then I'd ask if you'd like to go to prom with me." He smiled.

"You didn't do that with Charlotte did you?"

"No, I wrote it on a post-it note and put it on her car door." He laughed. "Not romantic at all."

"Well, I can't wait to have a reason for you to spell something out with candled." I smiled and he nodded, telling me it would happen at one point.

Once we were finished with dinner, he helped me with the dishes before we both changed into PJ's and climbed into his bed. Edward was staying with Ali for the night and for once, I'd be able to sleep with him by my side. It was strange. We'd lay like this hundreds of times before when Edward wasn't home, but this was different somehow. For once, it was just us and there was no threat of anyone barging in and ruining our moment.

* * *

Our week without parents passed by too quickly, and we were back into reality. Edward was home at night now and his parents were back from their trip.

Reality sucked.

And the more time that passed, the closer we got to May first and I was dreading that day. That was the day Jasper had to choose between Northwestern, Stanford, and John Hopkins. Northwestern had always been his number one choice, but John Hopkins was offering a better scholarship, but Stanford was closer. I felt horrible. He'd always been set to leave the west cost and go somewhere else. But now, he was trying to make a choice with me as a factor.

That was never anyone's plan.

He'd been in his room all week, trying to choose and he'd barely come out. When I walked by at one point, I saw his room cluttered with books and paper was everywhere and I even noticed a PRO/CON list with everything else. Finally, after a week of this, I gently opened his door and saw him slumped at his desk, and the only light on was his desk lamp.

"Babe, it's late." I whispered as I began rubbing his back. "You should sleep."

"I'm fine," He lied. When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he couldn't make it thirty seconds without yawning. "I gotta make a choice."

"Yeah, but not tonight."

"Yeah, but in a week." He spat. "I have a big descion to make and I don't know how right now."

"Well, what do your lists say?" I asked, trying to make him smile but it wasn't helping.

"The same thing they've been saying for months." He sighed. "Northwestern's the dream. John Hopkins is giving me an almost full scholarship. Stanford is only fourteen years away." He reminded me. "It sucks either way."

"OKay, I don't wanna be away from you any less then you wanna be away from me." I told him. "So, please don't make this choice by how close we'll be to each other."

"Bella, things just got good between us."

"Yeah, and they'll still be good no matter when you go to school." I told him. "You've wanted to go to Northwestern for as long as I've known you."

"It's not just you I'll be leaving." He shrugged. "Rosalie's going to Reed in Portland and Edward's going to UCLA and Ali's going to UCSD and Emmett's at UW." He told me. "And I don't know if I wanna be thousands of miles away from them."

"Them staying close was never an issue before."

"I was never leaving in August before!" He snapped. "I mean, my best friend is going to be in California and my twin...my other half is going to be only four hours from here." He said. "If I go to Stanford I'll be within driving distance to Edward and Rosalie and...you."

"I can't be the reason you don't go to your dream school," I whispered as I grabbed his hand. "You have to make this choice based on how good of a school they are and how much they want you. Not by how far away it is."

"I know this," He nodded. "It's just harder now." He whispered. "I mean, with you in my life as my girlfriend, it makes me see things more clearly. Like, how far away Illinois really is."

"It'll be hard, but you can do it."

"Rosalie and I haven't been apart for more than a week before." He whispered as he looked at a picture taped to the wall of them when they were about ten. Rosalie was going to camp and Jasper was staying with Edward for the week. "And, that was eight years ago."

"She understands."

"That's what I hate about her." He laughed. "If she was a total bitch it'd be easy to leave her."

"But, she's...Rosalie."

"Yep." He sighed. "But, you're right. This choice has to be made because I want to go to that school, not because it's closer."

"I'm always right." I laughed. "I don't know why you keep trying to deny this fact."

* * *

"I can't believe you told him to go to Northwestern or Hopkins." Angela sighed as we sat down to lunch the next day. "I mean, I couldn't do that."

"We've been together for three months," I shrugged. "He's been dreaming of getting out of here since he was twelve...and he's dreamed of going to Northwestern. I couldn't be the reason he stayed if he really didn't want to."

"Damn, you're a much better person." Chloe laughed.

"Well, duh." Mike spoke up as he and Ben came and sat with us. "She's Bella. Might as well be a saint."

"Oh shut up, you have no room to talk, Mike." I giggled as I threw my napkin at him. "You're more of a saint than I am."

"Not anymore." He gloated and we all stared at him. "Jessica and I...might have done something last night."

"Jessica Stanley?" Angela asked in disgust.

"Yep." He nodded. "We didn't have sex or anything, but...third base maybe."

"Mike, you could do so much better." Chloe sighed. The two were closer than Angela and I were, which I didn't think was actually possible, but Chloe and Mike had been attached at the hip since she gave him the blocks she was playing in preschool so he'd stop crying. "Even Lauren would have been better."

"You don't have room to talk, Chloe." He barked. "You and Eric were getting nice and cozy at the New Years Eve party."

"Nothing happened." She yelled. "We made out, that's it. I kept my clothes on!"

"Guys, don't fight." Ben sighed. "People are starting to stare." Ben hated drawing attention to our group. We were pretty similar in that way.

"Whatever," Mike barked and stormed away. I turned to see Edward and his friends all staring and smirking at us. The drama filled group of freshman they'd say. But when I looked to see if Jasper was also staring, he was nowhere in sight. I figured he was studying in the library and went back to try and have a normal lunch. But, with Chloe and Mike fighting, it was impossible to get a good mood back.

The rest of the day dragged on. Ben stayed with Mike to make sure he didn't go rouge on Chloe and she spent the rest of the day complaining about him. I just wanted it to be three so I could go home and curl up with a good book. Now that it was baseball season, I saw even less of Jasper than before and it was really starting to bug me.

But, with Mike on Varsity his freshman year, Ang, Chloe, and I had a good excuse to go sit on the bleechers which we'd been doing since Mike found out. It was rare for a freshman to be on varsity, but since the school was so small, the good ones played with the big boys. Mike didn't get on the field as much as he wanted to, but it was enough to keep him happy.

So, after we grabbed our things, the three of us headed out to the practice field to watch. Chloe spent a good chunk of the time still complaining about how unbelievable Mike was, but I paid no attention. I just focused on Jasper. He was the star pitcher and everything he did affected the rest of the team. But, even Edward, Forks' best hitter, struck out a lot when Jasper pitched to him.

"Strike three!" Coach called after Edward swung and missed. He charged towards the mound, but I knew he was just messing around with Jasper. I smiled as I watched them fake fight with each other and I suddenly felt guilty. If Edward found out what Jasper and I were up to, he'd end his friendship immediately and I couldn't be the one to end their friendship.

"Bells?" I heard Angela asked, pulling me out of my dream state. "You okay?"

"Yeah, Jasper...he just looked really good in those baseball pants."

"He looks good in everything, Bella." Chloe laughed. "But especially baseball pants." After another ten minutes, coach called a quits and everyone headed down to the locker room. Edward was busy antagonizing Emmett while Jasper jogged over to where we were sitting. He was smelly and sweaty, but he'd never looked so good. There was something about a man in uniform that really got to me.

"So?" He asked. "How does it feel to be the star baseball players girlfriend?" He asked as I pressed my hands on his chest to keep his sweat away from me.

"Amazing," I giggled like a school girl. "It'd be nice if all the other girls knew you were taken."

"I know, baby." He nodded sadly. "But one day, we won't have to hide anymore."

"When?" I asked. "I'd like a time and a place."

"Time? The future." He laughed. "Place? Hopefully on this planet."

"You're rediculous." I giggled as he gave me a quick kiss before following everyone else.

"That was risky." Angela observed as we began walking to Edward's Volvo. "Out in public like that."

"Edward was with Emmett." I shrugged. "And sometimes you can't always help it."

"I just don't want your worst fear coming true." She whispered. "You're finally happy with him and everyone knows the second Edward finds out, that's going to end."

"I appreciate your concern, but I don't think he saw." I assured her. "But, if it makes you feel better, we'll try and be more secretive."

"It does." She laughed as we stopped to stand in front of the silver car. Five minutes later, the three goons we running towards us, looking like complete idiots. Emmett only had one shoe and I could see Edward and Jasper playing Monkey in the Middle with it. Poor Emmett. He was always getting picked on by them.

Finally Emmett tackled Jasper to the ground, and the sight of him going down onto the hard pavement made me flinch. Emmett wrestled the shoe out of his hands and put it back on, mock laughing on Jasper. But, when Jasper didn't get up and I saw him clutching his ankle, I dropped my backpack and ran over to him.

I knelt down beside him and his face was squished in pain. I pushed some of his curly hair out of his face and tried to comfort him as much as I could with Edward standing there.

"Dude, get up!" Emmett told him, but I could tell he was trying not to act nervous. If Jasper was hurt, that was it for their season and possibly his future in baseball.

"You crushed my ankle you buffoon!" He yelled as I helped him sit up a bit.

"You're fine, you big baby." Emmett tried to laugh.

"Emmett, I don't think he's messing around." I whispered as I bent down to lift Jasper's pant leg up to see his ankle. It was already beginning to swell and bruise, but I didn't see any bone popping out so that was good. "We should take you to the hospital."

"I'm fine, babe." He whispered, but stilled when he realized Edward was hovering over us. "Bella. I'm fine, Bella."

"I think she's right though, let's go." Edward suggested. "It wouldn't hurt."

"Okay," He reluctantly agreed. I knew he was scared to death he'd be out for the season. I did what I could to be the supportive girlfriend, but my dumb big brother was with us. There wasn't much I could do. Emmett and Edward supported Jasper as he hopped over to the Volvo and carefully helped him into the backseat.

"I can take you two home." Emmett offered since they were supposed to come home with me since it was Friday. They nodded and Emmett apologised again before telling us he'd meet us at the hospital. I crawled in the front with Edward and my heart broke a little bit when I saw how hurt Jasper was in the backseat.


End file.
